hi peeps..haha.. thats wat yingling always says.. i am fine really.. got the prob solved... what happen i updat u all when we meeet up yeah?.. exam coming soon.. cham.. mine end on the 26 april.. how abt urs guys?.. miss u all?.. me been bz all weekend athough its recess week.. there was three projects and two reports to pass up.. today.. then pass up.. so finally cacn take a break.. take care everyone~

五月天
倔强
当我和世界不一样那就让我不一样
坚持对我来说就是以刚克刚
我如果对自己不行如果对自己说谎
即使你不原谅我也不能原谅
最美的愿望一定最疯狂
我就是我自己的神在我活的地方
我和我最后的倔强握紧双手绝对不放
下一站是不是天堂就算失望不能绝望
我和我骄傲的倔强我在风中大声的唱
这一次为自己疯狂就这一次我和我的倔强

对爱我的人别紧张我的固执很善良
我的手越肮脏眼神越是发光
你不在乎我的过往看到了我的翅膀
你说被火烧过才能出现凤凰
逆风的方向更适合飞翔
我不怕千万人阻挡只怕自己投降
我和我最后的倔强握紧双手绝对不放
下一站是不是天堂就算失望不能绝望
我和我骄傲的倔强我在风中大声的唱
这一次为自己疯狂就这一次我和我的倔强
就这一次让我大声唱
lalalala...
就算失望不能绝望...
lalalalala...
就这一次我和我的倔强
i made the choice.. 21-02-2005.. i suggested to him that we break up and be just friends.. was it a good decision? was it right?.. i dun noe.. if u ask me abt it.. i would prob joke abt it..
but then alone.. i just cry.. does it matter?.. i said that joke abt it cos i dun want to show pple that i am sad or angry.. do i have the right to do that?.. i believe so..i really loved him.. why was the frequency so wrong.. principles so different?..why is it so hard to be nice to someone...

a little theory i just came up with..
everyone is born to learn.. to learn to cope with life
to learn abt rights and wrong
to learn how to apply wat u have learned
to learn abt pple and relationships and self worth
to learn abt sucess and failure
to learn acadamically

when we were born. we learned to cry for milk , learnt to crawl and walk and run. learn to experiment, learn from our falls and failures, learn from successes and experiements, learnt to avoid trouble, learn to eat snake,learn that we all have choices, learn that we all need not learn so much to achieve that much, learn that learning doesnt help sometimes, learn that if one treats learning as a chore, everything else will be, learn tat life is not just a series of events, but much more, learn that life is an adventure from which there is much to learn from ,learn that u dun have all the time in the world, the more u learn, the more u know that u dun know, the more you learn, the more u see the importance of learning, that learning is not abt acquiring new knowledge, but understanding the environment around you, not just knowing things that u do not know before, but knowing things are not just wat they seem to be.. catch no ball wat i am saying..?.. cos i am still learning..

learn that life is neither everything nor anything, but wat u want it to be, its wat u want it to be.

A good friend recommended this song to me. First, when i saw the mtv, tears brimmed in my eyes, i dun noe how to describe, for the lyrics, it was abt a guy telling a gal to believe in him that he will give her the 'happy ever after ending' that only appears on in fairytales , something which the gal did not believe in any more..
i think its rather sweet.. how many of us still believe in fairy tales, maybe that is not the impt qn, but rather, how many of us want to believe in fairy tales?. which our lives ever happening and changing, perhaps we can see it as a fairy tale, we all have magical powers of our own which we do not know, but we know we can make things happen. make one another happy or sad, or simply, create happily ever after happiness..

(view in unicode)
童话

歌手:光良 专辑:童话


忘了有多久
再没听到你
对我说你最爱的故事
我想了很久
我开始慌了
是不是我又做错什么

你哭着对我说
童话里都是骗人的
我不可能是你的王子
也许你不会懂
从你说爱我以后
我的天空星星都亮了

我愿变成童话里
你爱的那个天使
张开双手
变成翅膀守护你
你要相信
相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局

我会变成童话里
你爱的那个天使
张开双手
变成翅膀守护你
你要相信
相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局

一起写我们的结局

Firstly wanna wish everyone a very happy Lunar new year, hope that everyone will still continue to do their best in everything they do and have the best of luck and of course , stay healthy and happy!!

Actually.. i have been quite unhappy recently.. my life seems to beturnd upside down due to some matters, the coming new year did not bring me much joy, but more stress as it brought abt quizes and make up lecs..i have became so tired that i have resorted to skipping tuts.. and some lec.. which i knew, were of some wat little importance to go for..

the past week had been hectic.. only becos i threw myself into the deep shit of helping Xuemei with her newsletter.. lol.. the name of guest editor still sounds funny to me.. no regrets doing that kind of things though dun worry xuemei.. it just allow me to see how much i can stretch myself.. obviously.. not a lot.. but i just teach me not to do projects at the last minute..ha.and that when we put our mind and heart to doing stuff.. we can do it with sheer determination knowing that we actually have the ability to accomplish enormous tasks..so xuemei!.. i am so proud of US!!.. ha.. but if u look back.. it wasnt much..lol.. at least unitl we got the template out..yeah~

its good to know tat i actually putin my heart and soul into doing something for once.. but i realised tat the kinetic energy of u moving forward is a wonderful feeling.. to know that u are accomplishing something.. but at this pt of time.. i am totally obilivious to wats happening to me.. resulting in quite a few episodes.. which i take responsible for.. but sometimes.. its simply unforgiveable meh?.. pple get distracted once in a while.. maybe the only person who is still dwelling in the incident is me.. i keep saying .. forgive and forget.. yet.. maybe i am the only one who is not putting any of it down.

so its pretty sad.. i remember celebrating CNY in pri and sec and jc .. they were all so fun. and looked forward to the celebrations then.. even the stupid class decorations..ha. hongpaos pasted every where .. and the red and yellow day at tj.. do u remember we taking balloons and playing daidee at the lounge?haha.. and then in sec school.. the say b4 we will keep asking.. hey wat u wearing tmw?.. want to wear skirt together?.. lol.. those were the days..
but as we all get older.. it gets sadder i think.. for one thing.. i nearly twisted my hand today while trying to get some sleep in the mrt..hand still aching.. went this fashin in attempt to get somthing nice.. everything i point out, my mom says.. UGLY.. then everything my mom pt out.. i frown .. diff generation sia.. wanted to get soemthing simple.. but she was thining of a dress.. wow.. can u imagine.. zihui in a dress.ha. i cannot..

mostly importantly.. everyone stay happy yeah~?

Dreaming of You
( Selena )

Late at night when all the world's sleepimg
I stay up and think of you
And I wish on a star that somewhere you are
Thinking of me too

'Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
'Til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's no where in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room, dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you ever see me
And I wonder if you know I'm there
If you looked in my eyes would you see what's inside?
Would you even care?

I just wanna hold you close
But so far all I have is dreams of you
I wait for the day, the courage to say
How much I love you

'Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
'Til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's no where in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room, dreaming about you and me

Late at night when all the world's sleepimg
I stay up and think of you
I still can't believe that you came up to me
And said I love you
I love you too

Now I'm dreaming with you tonight
'Til tomorrow and for all of my life
And there's no where in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room dreaming with you endlessly

I'm dreaming of you tonight
'Til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's no where in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room, dreaming about you and me

Now I'm dreaming with you tonight
'Til tomorrow and for all of my life
And there's no where in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room dreaming with you endlessly

expectations?.. isnt life all abt expectations?
do we wake up every morning expecting things to be the same and follow ur usual routine?.. if i were at home.. i would expect my mom to start nagging away the moment i open my eyes.. i expect that i will fall asleep during my 830 lesson, i expect that i will be happy to see my friends everyday, i expect i should be grateful for wat i have, i expect that life will be good to me if i work hard.. are those expectations?.. or they just things we are so used to experience and have taken for granted..how about changes?.. if we expect changes.. prob we will not be so grumpy when they happen, when thing dun go our way, we will not be frustrated.. if we expect that life is ever happening, unboring,full of surprises and changes, ever moment is worth remembering cos we noe they will never come back.If we expect everything to be constant.. which never happens..most prob that we wil go crazy.. for eg.. i expect my roomie to go grumpy at least once a week..yeah.. so life is all abt expectations. if its not urs.. its about other pple's and how they affect u.. how u feel u have to meet up to them.. consiously or unconsiously...is that it not true..? thats how our behaviour comes abt.. we behave and react according to our charcater which is moulded by our experiences and lifestyle and upbringing..thus in one way or another, we are consious of wat the socety expects of us and wat we expect of ourselves...lol.. i am writing this.. becos i expect rosie will read this and that i have already expected myself tht i will reply to her msg..ha..and of course.. i expect no one else to bother..

sometimes.. i just want to know wat wrong i have done thats all.. if u say that i have done something wrong and u refuse to say specifically wat it is.. i will explode.. not becos of the anxiousness.. but that of fear. will u understand?..u dun like to talk it out until it really becomes too much for u.. while i just trash it out like nothing.. then we become speechless.. how am i suppose to know wat u thinking?... *frustrated* ...ai yi ge ren hao nan...

痴心绝对
想用一杯Latte把你灌醉 好让你能多爱我一点
暗恋的滋味 你不懂这种感觉 早有人陪的你永远不会
看见你和他在我面前 证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的 那些憔悴 是你永远不曾过的体会
为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解 我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退 我的防备 静静关上门来默数我的泪
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会 我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天 你会发现 真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲
曾经我以为我自己会后悔 不想爱的太多痴心绝对
为你落第一滴泪 为你做任何改变 也唤不回你对我的坚决