okok.. just when i was talking abt being grateful... ha.. i took for granted that the person who designed my blog would keep the pictures hosted..haha.. and i did not make any saved copies of it!!.. arh.. so there goes the pretty picture of the gals lying in the reflection of the eye.. i thought it was pretty nice.. though i have received comments on how scarly or not so comfortable to look at at night.. or to have an eye stare at u the moment the pic came out.. well. wats gone is gone.. figure that i cannot stand a blank pictureless blog.. so i put in a the pic of a person's shadow with feathers around him.. pls... those who have not seen the pic.. at least tell me that u see something that is similar to wat i have describled earlier.. dun be like my gl rayner and keep wondering why are there bananas in the pic...hmmm..well i think its pretty obvious...the sad thing is just the pic host i using (onfinit) have this logo at the bottem.. hmm i think i will find another one soon... or at the very least... change my blog skin soon.. for u see.. even my roomie have changed her blog skin.. and then the rest of u have either taken on a new skin or new pic or even started on a blog.. but this blacky (wat i call my blog skin)have been with me for quite long.. hmm i think i started to have it when i felt down and really want to be swallow in darkness.. ha.. but as time went by.. it just felt cool to have a black blog.. although getting messier as i keep mixing around with it.. it has certainly gone through quite a lot with me... well maybe the decision to take the pic off the host was a cue for me to change blog skin...ha...

well.. last night was mid autumn festival.. and my roomie and i decided to hold a mini gathering in our room.. haha.. i think it was for no particular reason.. but since we had mooncakes to spare and tea and an occasion to celebrate and its been a long time since we had more than 5pple in the room.. we decided to invite pple to our room.. most of them through msn..ha.. and this was the invitation...

hey there!! zihui and xuemei is going to have moon cake fest later!! 2359 @ my room!! yeah... and u are invited!!.. heehee bring some snacks too~

haha.. the thing is no one brought snacks.. but was still ok lah.. the turnout was bigger than expected.. and from at abt 8pm.. i just msned friends around the hall
to turn up for the terriblely unofficial event..haa.. and who would have expected.. pple who turned up included zhiyuan (who contributed 4 mooncakes),zhiyang, ben, weili, from blk46 and then there was my cousin cheewee,antony rayner, bingqiang, seksay (who contributed a durian mooncake..yum!) and enyao(my ever hungry neigbour)and caiting plus jieying and peien from 48 and then lydia from hall 8 ..haha.. and also lingjie who came in and out sleepily to take her laundry..and also kenny from 47 at the end..haha.. thats abt 16 pple (!!!)including me and my roomie.. haha record number.. in my small little room.. where pple are spread out all over the place.. on the bed.. all the chairs.. on the floor standing.. everywhere..haha.. the funny thing was that it was not realised that there were so many pple in the room unitl i stood up upon hearing jieying and peien was at the door and did not dared to come in..haha.. becos there was a total of ten guys in the room and only.. two gals..haha.. and the room was rather packed liao.. it was only when i looked around me then i got a little shocked myself..haha.. how come got so many guys?..haha how i noe.. most the friends i have around here are guys and they are real cool..haha talk cock sing song .. thats wat we always do and of course that was we did last night.. 16 pple munching on abt 5 mooncakes and sipping on 3 flasks of xuemei's earl grey tea which everyone enjoyed throughly..ha.. and we also play with the paper lanterns in my room.. just light them and hold them around..hah.. a bit wu liao. and some tried to tell ghost story.. and at the end.. rayer and cheewee tried to perform with the guitar.. strummin many familiar songs which we sang to..ha. ..yap.. it was a fun night.. something sweet that i would remember for some time.... thanks for coming guys..ha...

You learn to speak by speaking, to
study by studying, to run by running,
to work by working; in just the same
way, you learn to love by loving

Anatole France
French writer, member of the French Academy and Nobel Prize for Literature in 1921, 1844-1924

thats the quote of the day(rather interesting and nice one i think..:P).. as i read it out.. i realised that its actually can be true..haha.. u must be thinking.. it is true wat!!..ha.. i never though of it before mah.. just occured to me that it works out that way cannot meh?.. but a bit weird leh.. u learn to speak by speaking.. u learn to run by running.. was thinking.. if u are already running.. then u know already noe how to run wat..?!!.. then i realised.. when he said 'learn to'.. , its not the learning ABCs learning.. but.. that of understanding wat u are doing.. like learning to run by running... its not just the act of doing that something.. but realising wat u are doing and enjoying it....hmm..then again.. the quote may just trying to tell us that things are that simple.. very often u do things without realising and they jsut occure to u like natually..ha..like the 'just do it' attitude.. if u want to learn something.. et something done.. dun think too much..' just do it...thoughs and considerations just get in ur way..i mean..' i do not ell urself everyday.. i must wake up from bed.. u just do dun u?.. ha.. stupid eg.. anyway.. in addtion.. it talks abt learning to love .. just by loving.. hmm that is interesting.. possibly there are many pple in the world that simple think too much.. ... the love refering to aanything.. friendship or bgr and stuff.. watever.. learn to love by loving.. maybe by loving.. then u will understand wat love is all abt ...
this quote prob applies very much today.. that pple r so busy with their own stuff... that they have forgotten how to love.. everyday.. they are face their computers and boss and collegues and are buried in assignments and tutorials and date dues .. they have simple forgetten wat life is really about.. spending time with pple.. they have gotten so used to talkin gon msn or icq or msn that they have 'lost' social skills such as holding up a good conversation in public or even just a stranger.. this is where SDU comes into teach pple how to look good teach them how to interect with pple and most importantly . widen ur social circle... ok.. i diverting liao.. why am i crapping all this?.. cos i think i makes some sense.. and this is how i perceive this world and the effects of technology on our everyday lives.. how its 'benefitting' ur.. .. i mean.. techonlogy has improved our communications.. in some way or another.. it had also pulled us further apart.. when was the last time u were really laughing out loud when u typed 'lol'.. ha.. i dun noe.. we all are given a chance to behave the way we want others to perceive ourselves or just be our real selves...hmm i can say.. i have been both.. i guess everyone too.. u can say that u have not.. ha.. i would not believe.. cos that would meant that ur self denial is that strong...haha...okok.. have to end here.. or else .. will all my da4 dao4 li3 will be coming out...yapz

looking out of the room .. i see the big round orange moon.. yes its really pretty.. mid autumn again.. just reminded me that things are always on going.. no matter wat... the the moon will become a cresent one day.. but it will become a full moon again.. things take time.. things change.. but wat is most important is cherishing wat u have now.. have a happy mid autumn festival!!

Hooo hoo.. literature is good for the heart.. really.. when was the last time u felt a sense of anger wen u read the news paper of a terrorist bombing or feel all lovey dovey again when u picked up that teenage love novel at the store shelve..haha.. literature is for the young and old .. that’s because it caters to all the needs and wants whether in the real world or imaginary world.. it is a form of escapism for pple as well as provides insight into our real life.. reveals the truth which pple dare not come straight with…
Oppps.

i must be kidding.. anyway.. i believe i can convince myself.. it would be ridiculous to have something happen.. ha..really.. i am happy now.. let it stay that way bah...

fly away 无穷无尽是你深邃的眼睛
看着你 就可以让我茫茫人海里感到安定
fly away 当我不顾一切无止尽追寻
有一个人 有一颗心 早已经默默之中在那里

well .. never though i would feel that way again its the third time this year liao... really until i see the two figures walk out of sight... i told myself.. u should be glad u never told the truth .. u should be glad u did not make anyone worse off... u should be glad that they are happy.. u should zhu fu them as well...

hello there....
first of all *hugs* to everyone!!!
to Shuhan, Peiyu,Yingling, Jiadai, Rosie, Eunice, Shuhui. Chenzhen, Jasmine, Joan, Hamidah, Meiqiang and all my great pals in NUS and SMU and NTU really miss u guys.. hope u all are doing well.. noe ur midterm exams are coming soon and heres wishing u all best of luck.. u all must jia you ok?.. hope to see u all real soon!!.. mean while take care too!! and i will too~

When to the dentist last night.. one of my teeth had chipped of.. and the nerves was infected as the breaking off of the tooth had exposed part of the nerve.. as the result.. had only to chioces.. do a nerve extraction or a tooth extraction.. one cost a whooping 700 bucks.. and the other .. 50 buck.. and the priceless cost of a teeth and the permanent lost of a tooth and a beautiful smile.. haha.. kidding,, not so serious.. so after weighting the unquantifiable and cost of the operation... me decided with the dentist and my mom.. over the telephone.. and after much complications.. we decided to take the trouble maker out... the tooth extraction.. all i feared was the needles to numb the area... anastetic or something like that.. but having the experience of taking out 8 teeth so as to put on braces (which effects have weathered off)... that means 16 huge needles pokes... my most ultimate fear was the needles(yes zihui fears something...).. for after experiencing the cold long hard stainless steel needle pierce through ur partially numbe skin and slowly slidding between ur teeth and into the gums below and the deeper it goes.. the addition of the fear of the needle breaking.. it being so deep inside plus the ever-lingering sharp piercing pain in ur gum... the rest of the extraction was easy peasy... reallly.. as the half of the face is paralyised.. u would not even complain if the dentist start to carve away ur nose or lips.. or even pull out all the teeth on the right side of the gums...haha..ok... but of course the brave zihui u all noe. simply sit through all of it bravely.. the needle was not that bad as i though.. when the two injections was over.. on the inside nerve and outside nerve..i ws so glad that i clapped..haha.. and it was only then my mom called the clinc to ask the dentist to not carry out the extraction..haha.. worried that i may bleed too much that night... but assuring that i am going to be alright.. we carried on... so now.. i only have..hm..23 teeth in my mouth..ha...no many .. but enough i think...hee..

i felt very stressed yesterday.. so stressed that i wanted to blog( to get some attention.. but not too much.. i cannot possibly complain to my grp mates right?.. they are already think i am a very incooperative member..haiz.. sian ah!!)i was not playing much attention to their issues or topics.. but rather... at how fluent they were speaking.. something that i could not do.. hmm something i have to overcome.. somehow for being in Bus is all abt presentation.. we have t more than acc students.. so how?.. rather than lamenting of the no of project presentations i have to do...i have something else to say..
i was telling it to my classmate... how fortunate we really are...

instead of tests every week.. we have presentations...we dun have labs or lab reports to do.. we dun even need to do our tut sometimes.. our lectureers are either humourous or ununderstandable... we have 4 day weeks.. we live in hall.. du have to travel up and down te island everyday.. we have mcq for tests and also open books for exams. and our tutors keep emphasing that exams are not impt.. we will not fail.. at most get a c or d... as long as we go lessons.. and that we will all succeed when we leave uni... that is if we all lower our expectations of success... yap.. we are a lunky bunch..

i am lucky.. i have a real good bunch of gals and guy friends which we can talk about anything..the pple in hall.. who would have imagined that u would meet them and had such fun.. be it organising a mini mooncake party at the rooftop or just pigging out in my room or playing with lulu and lala my neigbour's hamsters..ha.. have u even seen a dwarf hamster that have grown to look like a rat?.. if u have not.. come over right now....
misunderstandings happen now and then .. and such things cannot be avoid.. espeically when it comes to friends.. who are still learning about each other all the time.. sometimes.. its best not to think too much.. just enjoy each other;s company bah...thats wat i have to say...ha.. so solemn..okok
on a happier note now...

will the sky pls stop raining?... cos i still want my hall supper...*stomach rumble*

hi pple
hi to all who actually pop in now and then to read my blog.. would like to extend my greatest thanks to u.. the one who actually took some time off ur buzy schedule to read all this crazy crap of someone who dun really noe wat to do with her life.. or be it just an accidental click.. or u feeling bored and decided to pop in to kapo for a while..haha... watever .. thanks... cos i feelread to noe that u all care.. and i can feel it really..:P

well.. its the end of the recess period...ahahh... 6 weeks to exams/!!.. but look at it another way man... 10 weeks to after exams..haha and mean while.. theres HALL SUPPER this tues and MOONCAKE FESTIVAL CELEBRATION this fri and next sat theres another outing for WSC with the trainees at Singapore Bontanical Gardens..haha ... happy..

well.. theere is something i have been putting off for a long time.. something that is soooo typiically zihui.. thats is sharing my life!!!
well.. heres some photos.. me must my hands on a digi cam some day...




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People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest person with the smallest mind.
Think big anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack if you help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you might get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

Bishop Abel Muzorewa
African Spiritual and Political Leader

well..its been a long time since i have blogged.. perhaps i am tired.. too tired.. i dun noe.. a lot of things have happened... things i do not know how to deal with.. be it my computer or my keyboard or just me and r/s probs.. i am not a very brave person in life.. i just appear brave.. sometimes i think my id kid is braver.. she is happier.. i am complaining again..
i remember that approximatley one and a half month ago.. i was still a happy person.. a very one.. which i am now.. enjoying my hall life.. all the things that require my attention.. all things that i enjoy doing.. it had always occured to me things change and they often do with a short period of time.. well thats why i really do cherish anyone who steps into my life. be it guy or gal.. be it jus a passerby or a good friend in making.. its fate that bring pple together.. really.. who would have known that a computer that needs reformating would turn out to a huge drama.. really.. who would have known.. the thing is not over yet.. despite all efforts.. maybe its just me.. i believed that i was not putting blame on that person.. i hoped not to... but then..i tried not to.. but instinctively i was not the kind person i though i was.. haha.. i was the mean person i warned before in the very first place...
its like this.. things are never as they are seemed.. thats why its never that simple... sianz.. so how to see things?.. my conclusion is to follow ur heart...
i am sorry to have mislead u in the past.. really.. u are really not the person i am looking for..really.. believed this have been said many times before unitl no one want to hear it liao.. on the outside.. i am like trying to be nice abt everything.. but i am also being very mean to u.. u noe that.. despite everything.. which i believed myself to be able to put behind myself.. i am truly guilty that to say.. that it will take some time.. but i can make myself believe i can do it now.. so ironic.. sometimes i really dun noe wat is going on.. really.. am i trying to be nice?.. or mean.. or just me in a mood or that i am trying to understand u and hope that this thing does not affect u too hard.. i think u are confused.. cos i am too.. i though i should stand in ur shoes.. try and understand..ha.. i do that sometimes.. but it irritates me to do that for u.. sianz.. am i trying to be nice.. if i do that automatically.. am i being very fake?...i wonder...

ok... after this incident.. my guard has indeed heighten.. i dun noe.. but i have indeed have quite a few good guy friends.. who r really good pple... am i too sensitive?...i really dun noe..hopefully...

wat is life
i dun noe
mine is about my family and my friends and school
they are all interlinked
as much as i care about my friends..i care about my family too.. but sometimes i relate family equal to school work.. if i dun well in school..i will let down my parents down...
sometimes i just want to dusappear...

my punishment for myself..
-not going mkting lecture
-not going WSC...

my guilt shall haunt me for the rest of the week

i have a new stategy.. if u do not want to walk out of my life as i have kindly asked u to, i will walk out on u.

i dun like to study...
ya.. then i will have ten millon responses.. u think i like to study?.. peiyu right?...haha.. today i have no school
its thurs day..
woke up at eleven today.. had lunch and and slacked unitl now..haha.. later got AGM at 8?and need to collect block fund at 10?.. before that have to go wsc meeting cum dinner 630?... sian..
and u think that is crazy?... why do u think yesterday.. vball at 530 and then interview for special project at 930 and then 1100 gto blk rep meeting then banner painting after that,,,, woah i so lihai.. i so sick.. wrtitng this down.. so if u find me a bt off thiese days forgive me.. been busy...

我要专心体会每一天 还是学会打发时间.飞得高一点 作我自己最特别..