well..its been a long time since i have blogged.. perhaps i am tired.. too tired.. i dun noe.. a lot of things have happened... things i do not know how to deal with.. be it my computer or my keyboard or just me and r/s probs.. i am not a very brave person in life.. i just appear brave.. sometimes i think my id kid is braver.. she is happier.. i am complaining again..
i remember that approximatley one and a half month ago.. i was still a happy person.. a very one.. which i am now.. enjoying my hall life.. all the things that require my attention.. all things that i enjoy doing.. it had always occured to me things change and they often do with a short period of time.. well thats why i really do cherish anyone who steps into my life. be it guy or gal.. be it jus a passerby or a good friend in making.. its fate that bring pple together.. really.. who would have known that a computer that needs reformating would turn out to a huge drama.. really.. who would have known.. the thing is not over yet.. despite all efforts.. maybe its just me.. i believed that i was not putting blame on that person.. i hoped not to... but then..i tried not to.. but instinctively i was not the kind person i though i was.. haha.. i was the mean person i warned before in the very first place...
its like this.. things are never as they are seemed.. thats why its never that simple... sianz.. so how to see things?.. my conclusion is to follow ur heart...
i am sorry to have mislead u in the past.. really.. u are really not the person i am looking for..really.. believed this have been said many times before unitl no one want to hear it liao.. on the outside.. i am like trying to be nice abt everything.. but i am also being very mean to u.. u noe that.. despite everything.. which i believed myself to be able to put behind myself.. i am truly guilty that to say.. that it will take some time.. but i can make myself believe i can do it now.. so ironic.. sometimes i really dun noe wat is going on.. really.. am i trying to be nice?.. or mean.. or just me in a mood or that i am trying to understand u and hope that this thing does not affect u too hard.. i think u are confused.. cos i am too.. i though i should stand in ur shoes.. try and understand..ha.. i do that sometimes.. but it irritates me to do that for u.. sianz.. am i trying to be nice.. if i do that automatically.. am i being very fake?...i wonder...

ok... after this incident.. my guard has indeed heighten.. i dun noe.. but i have indeed have quite a few good guy friends.. who r really good pple... am i too sensitive?...i really dun noe..hopefully...