when u are facing a wall
what comes to ur mind?
a dead end? or the enornomous height which is simply out of ur reach?
a blank wall? or simply a canvese waiting to be drawn on?
a cold hard surface? or a place that can be painted in warm colours and things can be hung on and be beautiful..

i never knew a wall could inspire me so much.. i realised when i am sad.. i become all weird and think of all weird possibilities..sadly.. i see the sad and happy side at the same time.. but i choose to wallow the the unpleasant one.. pity myself.. long to cry .. but do not want to answer any qns..so shall just sob.. when there are things on my mind.. it gets heavy.. cos u know u are just carrying things around.. and not solving any prob..
for suddenly.. ur self esteem drops into a bottemless pit and u feel real hollow... there is nothing along the way for u to hang on to .. but only streams of ur own thoughts that simply float away from u as though u are no longer of use and they are leaving u for someone else...

曾经相信你就是我的唯一
忘记思考生命其它的妒忌
不知不觉深陷爱的浓雾里
竟然发觉我的视线已经渐渐不清晰

于是我就这样茫然失去了你的踪迹
翻开地图竟是过去一对没用的足迹

爱的方向找不到
我在你的心中还剩多少
我的眼泪不重要
只要你记得回来就好

外面世界吵又闹
你要小心照顾自己好
没有了牵手和拥抱
请你千万保重好不好

hi all~
hi andrew and gang... hows life?.. and how abt u gals out there? going fine?.. sian.. exams nearing like shit.. this time is a bit better.. i think 5 subject.. acc - tabao before...econs- studied a bit before, biz law-open book halfway done.. ob..openbook.. haven started yet.. and then there is IT..haha.. non-openbook.. must study.. but thats the last subject.. it was a bit amazing.. to find out that some pple actally dun noe i tabao three last sem.. quite funny.. but i am over it..haha.. if i am.. how can u not right?
must jiayou everyone~
oh ya.. got somthing to share..
so read ahead if u think u are having a bad day yeah--->
it goes like this.. planned to comehome on sat night.. had dinner with hiyang at can2 and then poped to boonlay mrt to catch the train..on the train.. feel v bored.. dun feel like reading my text.. it was only halfway though the trip.. then i realised ii had a catherine lim book in my bag.. which i had brough aong for the journey.. but i went on to sleep anyway...never did i noe.. when i opened my eyes at one instant... i say the gv logo outside the mrt window.. and vagely heard tampin...
i was shocked.. ad immediatley stood up to get off.. little did i know my righ leg was in dunnoe pins and needles or just cramp. sian.. and the sudden pressure and unusual weight on the foot at a adnormal postion triggered a sharp pain though my ankle.. and like wat stubborn zihui would do.. she struggled out of the mrt and rested on the platform..
and when i tried to move again. sian..pain shot though my ankle.. still numb from the shock and sleep.. cold sweat came out from dunnoe where... and i shivered.. and took deep breaths as long as i could take.. and called home..
after much fuss.. abt how could i actaully sprain my leg alightitng the mrt? ridiculous?... and stuff.. and my mom got my dad to come to the mrt to fetch me home and i hitched his bike home.. but the story does not end here..

on reaching home. i had to take off my helmet.. which entangled in my spects. and then when i was in the bath room adjusting it.. i BROKE IT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
sian.. i pain and feeling sad.. i broke into tears.. and cried.. but o seeing my tears.. my mom just say.. cry wat cry?.. spec break already cry also no use right?
does it mean if u cry ur specs will get fixed back?.. i kept quiet.. wat to do.. for a moment.. i hoped it was just a dreamm.. and i could just wake up.. but i could..
yup so this is it.. unlucky day.. hope urs is better~

sometimes. i think i deserve all i am getting.. i should not complain.. the effects are just from the cause of my actions. wheni go something wrong. which i quite often. i fgure i can accpet it, cos everyone makes mistakes. but then. not everyone can accept mistakes. not everyone can accept my mistakes.and then wat am i suppose to do?
does' i dun mean it'.. ' it was not done proposely' mean anything?

exams coming.soon.too soon.a million stuff on my mind.need a shoulder to cry on.need to know that speech is not everything.need to know someone understands.just need to know.need to feel right.need to feel motivated.need something.something not found yet.