Was v stress last night.. how stress is v stress?... I had to control my urge to strangle my self and everyone (who was nice to me despite I was going crazy) in sight.

The most prominent thing was that I wanted to inflict some pain on myself to make myself feel better for doing something so wrong… not doing my part in my fyp .. sounds so wrong.. in the end.. I whined to my roomie, xuemei (who comforted me by hitting me with her pillow and staring at me in silence) and bq whom I left a half palm mark on his sholder for deleting my angry nick and mel and sek.. bleahhhhhhhhh. At that pt of time . I really felt like a loser. Wats worse than knowing that u are a loser and specifically .. the very type u hate urself?.. grr.. sianz..
But at one pt of time. I felt grateful- despite still feeling frustrated that I have great friends around me.. dun worry.. I drank my coffee and at my medication today.. I wun go crazy again.. as for my fyp.. I will deal with it.. I must!.. pple can do it.. so can i. I tell myself.. hais.. but its sooo hard.. as a punishment. I shall not go home this weekend and do more research in the reading room.. muahah.. kill me... killl me...

To be continued if I do not self destruct this weekend….