Hey diary…
todae is the 27 of july… I was trying to take a nap .It didn’t work.. thats why I am typing in a blank word document now, cos I cannot go on net anymore, or else I have no money to pay my brother for the internet bills.
You know diary?i always wanted to start writing a diary….but I never got done to doing it cos it was too troublesome. i think its because I am too lazy to write an entry everyday.. at least to keep it going. I dont know why.. but I think I can continue writing in blog.. cos writing in this diary doesn’t seem so troublesome anymore. I dun noe how it is.. maybe it is the typing that make it fun, or maybe it is just the element of sharing your thoughts with your friends. I dun keep a diary cos I dun think my house is secure enough that no one will read my darkest secrets. Not that there are pple creeping around to read my stuff.. i just think it is not safe. Once started a diary when I was abt sec 1, it was in half Chinese and half English…and I only wrote in it when I was feeling down…like times when I felt my mom doesn’t understand me. This still happens at times and this is also the reason why I am writing this now…..
Anyway the diary I started in sec1 stopped after abt 10 entries. .cos I thought they are too sick(sad) to be contined…I seems to be recording the worst felt moments of my life and reading them made one felt worst. Yes, one can also write happy things in a diary…things that is worth remembering.. why didn’t I do that..? Maybe I never thought abt writing in my diary when I am happy only when I am sad…now..who wants to continue a diary like that.
When I write in you..i dun really think much…dun really care who the heck will be reading it…whether they know me a not..cos its really their choice how they perceive pple like me…anyway I think everyone will be sick of reading this after sometime…by then they will forget abt entering this page…..so diary…u are so fortunate I am writing in u now..hehe…despite its because I can feeling down now…

Ok… sometimes I am really tactless(or that’s wat pple say I am)…I was wondering…even if I am writing in the diary now..i must keep in mind not to say anything stupid…maybe train myself to be less tactless..
I often wonder what the heck am I doing with my life? My mom keep saying…. “you ! if u keep on going on like this(slacking.. which I dun do often.. but she always catch me when I am at it and says that I am always doing it.. why?) you will regret when you get your results…by then u will have no tears to cry and onone will take pity on you either cos you deserve it!” hey…like I always say.. everyone wat good results so do i!i am trying my best to work hard…so hard to the extent that I only want to prove to my mom that I can do it…(to the extent that I dun think proving to myself makes any difference cos she will just drown whatever spirit I have)…..but she does not seem to understand. Yes I understand she is not the type who praises her children…but hey do u have to be a wet blanket when ever I try to do something? take for instant…me and jia dai decided to have tution on Monday straight after school at 430. her first impress is that “wat? u having tuition then? Since when have u come back so early before.. and I thought u always like to sleep when u come home? U surely will be falling asleep halfway through the tuition. why dun u have it at night like the other days?”… why cant u be nice about ans stop being a wet blanket at everything I want to do..or is it me who is being the immature one here?

Ok whatever the incident is over now and I know wat my mom say is for my good(which is poltically correct..but I dun see how) ..me just angry at myself why I have to live under the perception of how pple view me.. and not how I want to be? I just dun understand…..

Suddenly I thought that writing in you,diary..gave me a chance to be self-centerered for a while ..my be that’s why I am like writing in you…I am giving myself a chance to express MY VIEWS MY THOUGHT MY IDEAS FULL ATTENTION. ALL ABT MYSELF!!!! HAHA. FEELS SO GOOD TO BE TALKING ALL ABT MYSELF…on the other hand. I can see myself to be just a crazy person who love to talk to herself…(can I put it in anyway that wouls sound nicer?) …. ….. feels so empty all of the sudden….nooo! this will not do…I have voice out my displeasures…I feel better now..really…at least it not all cooped up inside me… and I remembered that I have school tomorrow!!yeah!! cant wait to see my beloved friends!! And thanks diary!!i really feel better now 

Now a quote I like a lot:
Happy or sad one have to live,
Why not live on happily!

Ah dun care liao..me going to post this in my blog!