sometimes i think there is many things a person can do
u can show concern in many ways.. u can be thoughful and u can really go all the way out.. but how many pple really do it.. how many pple really think its worth it to do so. to do it in the first place.. must it realy be worth it?

i think some of us see the ways we can offer our help, our services, the ways we can make life much easier for each other and even lessen others' worries..even its at the expense of a little of ur time, isnt it worth it to know that someone has little less worries and frowning to do?

i was once asked .. why should i go so far to do somehing for someone who is just ur friend.. i got confused.. and hoped v hard that the answer in my heart is NOT that ' i want something in return'...
after quite long..i still did not noe the answer..its a painful process.. cos i felt that to help pple so that pple can help u in the future is pretty selfish., pretty sad.. pretty pathetic..
i did not want to do it becos of that.. but i had to justify my actions,, (why do i have to justify it anyway?) well there is an evil side to me.. its saying.. u just want to be acknowledged...
i needed a reason to justify the rational soul within me...
and i hate it...
wat is being rational?.. to understand that life isnt fair and u should judge things as they are?.. how abt this

perhaps its just like this.. u go the way .. cos it makes u feel better. cos it gives u satisfaction that u have the ability to help, to make life easier for someone, the lessen one tear drop, to make the heart a little less heavy and lonely.. thats wat friends are for isnt it?and how abt this.. by affecting pple in their lives.. that how u really show u exist for a reason...
u noe wat i mean?.. i feel that i am talking a bit no sense.. no structure..the answer/explanation is not clear too.. pehaps i have not found the 'theory' yet. i have not understand my own actions yet.. thinking for half an hour.. is it self worth?... maybe i am just working towards the ideal self...
is that an answer?...