yesterday something weird happened.. i did something really really really nice.. so nice.. i wondered why i did it.. and then i felt grumpy for the rest of the night..lol .. or was it the report.. or was it just that the nice thing sucked the happiness out of me and left me feeling really f-ing empty and sian..
we are all humans. we have expectations. u cant say u have none at times.. u can only say that u have the bare minimal... so u are more easily satisfied.. haiz.. i think its the chuied report...

but i guess its real different when u want the person around u to feel happy. special and appreciated. sometimes i think i am pretty weird. i have weird ways of interpreting things. not to mention cynical views of human. we are all selfish creatures.. but there are times when we really want the pple around us to feel so much better with wat we can offer them. its so much easier..
jus a smile will do
jus a grin
jus a look to know that u are happy.
u dun have to think of me yeah
u dun have to worry too much abt me

i will be fine - when i say this.. obviously i am not fine. but the stronger meaning is that i dun want u to worry too much abt me.cos that will make me sad . lol.. i will really be fine.. eventually
women are the most troublesome creatures.. talk abt emotions. u cant find that word in a women's dictionary. cos it cant be defined that easily..



thanks for all the hugs and kisses dear
happy 10days~

woke up at around 845 today. or that was wat the alarm clock told me.. i din want to go to lesson.. got so many reports and projects to do.. din want to leave hall. just wanted to buck up and get things done.. and of course listen to my current fav song. nuan nuan by liang jin ru.. must say thats my fav song in her album .. although i have only heard a few so far..

so i was still nuahing in my bed.. letting the time pass by my body. hoping htat the tutor would still have not notice my absence.. which is already v insignificant.lol. read my phone sms and realised that my dear had a late night.. doing his report. decided to pop by to give him a hug.. and that i did immediately after i washed up :).

had a v good run last night.. sometimes i feel u can tell a lot abt a person by them running beside u. some pple dun mind waiting at the side for u to finish. some pple prefer to run alone. some pple prefer to sprint all the way. some pple just enjoy each other presence despite the speed.. and there is pple like me .. trying to push myself to go faster. hoping that it would be a more comfortable speed for anyone else. but at the same time, also thinking of dun want to be left behind in the run..
but as we ran together last night. it felt good. step in step in the same direction.. i dun feel so worried. once in a while we were tryin to match each other's pace. which became a bit stressful and i went all wrong.. lol most prob the best thing is to let loose and be just relaxed with wat u are doing and put trust in the track, the feet and the mind.. with that. we ran at the same pace effortlessly.. hope this will be a long run together~ day5

专辑:亲亲
梁静茹-可乐戒指
作曲:jasemaine 填词:阿信

星星在天上写诗
浪漫到放肆
嘴角的吻还未湿
我还受掩饰
我调整了我坐姿
假装更矜持
你的紧张你的公式
就像个孩子

你把我喝完的可乐
来换当作戒指
轻轻套上了我手指

你问能不能一辈子
那一秒突然爱上了你
傻傻的固执

我不要你解释
我不要你发誓
我只要你记得此刻
你眼里我的样子

爱我不要解释
爱我不要发誓
这一刻到世界末日
让我们一起把爱
化成最美最美的钻石

你把平凡的日子
变成纪念日
永恒变成未来史
男孩变王子

我不要有大房子
也不要大宝石
我会珍惜可乐戒指
永恒的消失

你用吃完的糖果纸
那是你的方式
默默地写下你发誓
你说保护我一辈子
那一秒突然看到了
你背后的双翅

从此刻到世界末日
活成最美的钻石
你在等答案
我会对你说
yes

u asked why i never update.. perhaps i was still in a daze. swept away.. unable to convince myself wat have happened.. wat i have got myself into..i couldnt believe that anything that nice could happen to me...
perhaps it was meant to be. perhaps it just fate. 2 years plus.. like some old friend.. but i am happy. have not felt so for such a long time. dun dare to think too much.. dun dare to ask for anything in the first place.. but it was harder to bear than i though it would be.. i was not so wei da.. i was not that strong.. i was just a normal little gal.. who longs to be loved.. cuddled and hugged..

for a moment.. the fear i had all along vanished in the thin air. i have learnt to trust myself and trust u. that moment.i just wanted to stay in ur arms forever..
just 2 days.. 2 days. felt like forever.. thanks for everything dear. =)

Was v stress last night.. how stress is v stress?... I had to control my urge to strangle my self and everyone (who was nice to me despite I was going crazy) in sight.

The most prominent thing was that I wanted to inflict some pain on myself to make myself feel better for doing something so wrong… not doing my part in my fyp .. sounds so wrong.. in the end.. I whined to my roomie, xuemei (who comforted me by hitting me with her pillow and staring at me in silence) and bq whom I left a half palm mark on his sholder for deleting my angry nick and mel and sek.. bleahhhhhhhhh. At that pt of time . I really felt like a loser. Wats worse than knowing that u are a loser and specifically .. the very type u hate urself?.. grr.. sianz..
But at one pt of time. I felt grateful- despite still feeling frustrated that I have great friends around me.. dun worry.. I drank my coffee and at my medication today.. I wun go crazy again.. as for my fyp.. I will deal with it.. I must!.. pple can do it.. so can i. I tell myself.. hais.. but its sooo hard.. as a punishment. I shall not go home this weekend and do more research in the reading room.. muahah.. kill me... killl me...

To be continued if I do not self destruct this weekend….

I never figured out that I will be frustrated over all the recruitment and stuff. So sian.. so many recruitment talks.. and I haven attended one of them
Wat do I want to do when I grad? That’s like less than one year away. With a not so good academic record.. it seems that wat I can do is rather limited.. in additional. All the big big companys like jp morgen,P&G, shell, ocbc,hsbc,Citibank are holding talks and recruitments.. like to competitive sia..

Now siting in the lee lib. Thinking of wat I should be doing.. have slacked for the past few days. Not much done.. but did quite a bit of readings with the guys in the reading room. Surprised myself. Did a lot of running too.. think that I am currently in the fittest state ever, can run. But not as strong as when I was in netball..ha.. sianz.

There are also things that are troubling me in my mind. U noe.. sometimes the mind always wanders off and think abt things that do not happen, may not happen, might happen.. u noe.. but is just think think for the fun of it.. I shall just enjoy wat I have now and not think too much .ha..

One month and 2 weeks to exams

this is the only song i like by him.. no big fan.. but this is one nice song.. and i love the lyrics/.

Sylvester Sim - 所以

想到了第一次见到你
你有一种奇怪的魔力
我感觉到了自己偷偷想靠近你
想到了第二次见到你
感觉我并没那么高兴
因为我发现自己和你的距离

这是爱情还是你太美丽
让我作出不可思议的事情
我只知道我要看你开心
我什么都愿意 只要能够靠近你

我只好把我想说的话都放在心里
因为我只想要你开心
我知道我会辛苦也会难过
但我什么都愿意
不在乎狂风暴雨不管你在那里

我知道你和你的男孩有多么的甜蜜
所以我 才静静守着你
每一次看他紧紧拉着你手我眼泪不停的流
也只好默默退后
我什么都没说
静静忍住痛

想到了第一次见到你
你有一种奇怪的魔力
我感觉到了自己偷偷想靠近你
想到了第二次见到你
感觉我并没那么高兴
因为我发现自己和你的距离 这是爱情还是你太美丽
我像是着了迷 只要能够靠近你

我只好把我想说的话都放在心里
因为我只想要你高心
我知道我会辛苦也会难过
但我什么都愿意
不在乎狂风暴雨不管你在那里

我知道你和你的男孩有多么的甜蜜
所以我 才静静守着你
每一次看他紧紧拉着你手我眼泪不停的流
也只好默默退后
我什么都没说
静静忍住痛

我只好把我想说的话都放在心里
因为我只想要你高心
我知道我会辛苦也会难过
但我什么都愿意
不在乎狂风暴雨不管你在那里

我知道你和你的男孩有多么的甜蜜
所以我 才静静守着你
每一次看他紧紧拉着你手我眼泪不停的流
也只好默默退后
我什么都没说
静静忍住痛
Hey Hey

more pics to go... cos i aint finished yet!

Sights and sounds of phuket!
sidenote: a v expensive place to go..