Hello bloggie!!!
Todae is the 31 of july! The time now is 7.51pm.
Just finished dinner..so bao….so decided to sit down to write in you : )
Anyway..it has been some days since I posted in you. Dun worry I have not forgotten about u. Instead I have been thinking about wat I want to write in u all this time, really, on my way to school..during gp lecture…during breaks…at home… Its funny how I seem to look forward to writing to u like u are really a person who is listening to all my troubles.
Ok..i said I have lots to say. One of them is regarding the previous entry..the one abt my mom. Yes I agree people make mistake…u can never expectm people to understand your thought and words perfectly the way you want them to be conveyed. I was in a grumpy mood I must agree..must be pms….i should have understood that i should not expect my mom to understand me all the time, and that people do make mistakes that I should not have talked back when she said those words..which she thought was appropriate to reprimand me for slacking in school.

Yes life is unfair at times.
I wanna tell u about the gp lecture that we had on Monday!.I think that it is so cool!!
Really.. although one can see them as a butch of mad scientists prodding on the possibliltis that will happen in the future..they made rather lot of sense when they explained their theories. On the whole I was about how humans will continue to survive when the earth is utterly destroyed by man’s activities or when it is consumed by the sun in a couple million of years. Yeah, they showed us the problems of space travel and came up with all sort of shocking theories to solve the situation. A few mention about genetically modifying men to be more adaptable to life in space or for space travel.Yeah..i was really impressed by them..true that wat they said make sense..and the statistics they came up with were believable..it occurred to me..why didn’t I knew about the fact that space travel was developing at such a rapid rate so as to prepare up for the destruction of earth..? i thought that they were going to mars just test to the limit of their space rockets and which country could travel further. I realized that only the developed countries like the US had the resources to spend on such research. And then…is it the purpose of space exploration to look for another civilization for humans? It sure didn’t occur to me when the scientists discussed the suitability of mars for humans had means that we could be moving there in the near future cos the earth is dying..
Ok another interesting thing about the gp lecture was wat one scientist said (wonder if u all remember) “there are more stars in space than the number of sand on every beach on earth”…explaining that that possibility of finding an earthlike planet was very high ….on hearing that..i felt how insignificant earth is, how insignificant my world is…..but hey who cares..by the time earth perish..i will be dead by then..of course that is a very naïve thought..but I got more thing on my hand to think about….like my A’s..yes…another naïve answer..

Talking about results…the principal gave all the year twos a talk about the june comman test..she showed us case studies. Interestingly..she did not show us about how fantastic we could do..like getting 4 As, but showed us how we could do ourselves injustice if we are not careful enough to be unfocused in our studying. She said that a decent result was to about 50 pts..a competitive grade to the popular course would be 69(that’s 4 distinctions lor!!) and the tj average was 64….cannot belive it….i got EEE for june lor…that’s only 24 pts…plus mother tongue a2(7 pt) and gp(C6)..tian arh..get 33 pts can go where har..go sweep road arh….must stardii harder!! In maths class my fav maths teacher:ah kwan said I had an ok result for my JCT..and maybe will get good progress award if I continue to work hard for prelims.(woah..then grad night expense dun need to worry liao)I should stop dreaming and start working.
Oh yar diary..tell u something..i think I am obsessed with death stuff. As I told some friends in school todae..i sort of visualized myself shooting myself in the brain in front of my teacher and some classmates..feels a bit weird..dun panic so soon I am perfectly fine!! I am not going to buy a gun or shot anything. Sometimes I think that death is a very amazing thing..that it gives people a new perspective of life. I am amused how death gives people shock and horror..the emotions which they desire from horror stories but are too scared to face them in real life. I understand that death is not the answer to any problems..but hey why can people see death as a solution to the weak minded who can no longer take the affairs of the world..ok(lame excuse). Maybe I am wat yingling said..subconsiously stressed..but I still think I am fine…my mom said to me recently…even if the world were to go crazy from being stressed..i would be the last one..cos I am just too slack.

Yeah these are just some of the stuff that has happen this week..not much..it feels good to write them done and share them with u diary…funny..i one thought that if one day if I do die..maybe my diary can be published or something..or at least pple can come and read my last words…

Tomorrow got interhouse netball!!yeah!!i like netball, gives me a sense of belonging ..and that I have the ability to take up a postion. Although snatching balls have never been my cup of tea…i still enjoy the game… so I will try my best to be myself tomorrow, which is trying not to steal any lime light..cos I hate it!

Here’s a song which I think is really great..superman….its not easy

Superman (It's Not Easy)
I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me

I’m more than a bird…I’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see

It may sound absurd…but don’t be naive
Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed…but won’t you concede
Even Heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me

Up, up and away…away from me
It’s all right…You can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy…or anything…

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me

It’s not easy to be me.

True I am not superman…. but I believe one day I will be able to fly…will not need to lie about anything…need not fall upon my knees….one day I will fly and with clouds between my knees and find the special things inside of me .