errhhhh... i wrote.. like one page of stuff.. and then all disappear ... its so f-ing stupid...

well.. its been like one week staying in hostel..and i have already eaten six packets of instant noodles.. yes practically on for supper everyday.. except me having it for lunch today..
talk abt healthy living.. me have already eaten like five half boiled eggs in total for all the breakfast in this week.. why am i tell u this?.. cos i though u might me interested in knowing something abt my meals.. ok.. its becos i am eting myojo tom yam noodles noww.. on a saturaday after.. just returned from 1030-1230 lecture and still buzy with a lot of house keeping matters.. trying to get my life organised...trying very hard...
haiz..
the lec this morning was interesting.. but i was so much concentrating on my two eye lids which are simply weighted down by invisible dumbbells...i was trying not to sleep... luckily i did not.. but i did not listen mmuch to wat the lecture said also..
the previous night i had gone to a hall 9-5 event.. 9pm to 5 am.. went ktv and bowling and played daytona and bishhy bashy...and then finally supper at gelang.. then back to hall.. and sleep at six and three hours alter wake up to go 1030-1230 lec.. shag ah.. i so much want to lie down and sleep.. bt save it for the mrt trip later...

well.. other then living in hall.. another big impt event in my life now is getting around ntu and getting to classes on time.. without getting lost..
up-to-date.. i have only walked around ntu twice alone.. both times i was lost...pathetic sia.. the lost of sense of direction does not help further..

well luckily i am living with my bro in the sam hall.. go nothing better can pop into his room to eat or just watch tv.. i mean there is only so much u can do if live in the hostel.. cannot really phold a party at ur room every other niggh...
well.. and the seniors here are really caring.. really.. even more nice than my bro in some ways..haha.. hopefully me not really distupting my bro's life here.. for i am grateful.. cos without him.. i would be lost as anything depending on my blurness and brainlessness... well now i have got lots of friends.. life is little easier.. i dun really think i am living in my bro's shadow..cos we are so diff...but then.. i am still having fun now.. ha..see ya guys around~

Today.. first day of school.. got lecture this week only.. so its just the first lec.. 1230 to 230.. AB103.. some stats lec.. the lecturer was mumbering the whole way thought.. of was it becos i sat too behind.. but i was not really concentrating.. of i did not have my notes and was doodleing on my foolscap.. abyway.. half an hour through the lec.. i was starting to wonder how i am going to stay in that seat for two hours... the exit signd on both side of the hall was such a pretty sight.... luckily the thing ended early.. i was not as blur as those who were concentrating har on the lecture.. well.. wat to do.. gonna print my notes later...

yesterday we had an hall og STALKERS outing.. haha.. so cool.. literally.. we went out for dinner.. then ice skating at jurong entertainment center.. my first experience skating.. my gl lawrance said he never say me with such a facial expression before.. u know why?.. cos i could not skate.. and kept falling... by the end of the the session.. i did not really master how to skate.. just how to climb up safely and staying on two feet after i have fallen.. yap... i have fallen more than twenty times.. but i did not give up man! .. i went on and on and faster and faster and fell more and more times.. haha.. must learn from this experience.. that even though u may always encounter failure in life.. there is always something to learn from the experience.. yap.. always look on the bright side.. i only suffered a few cuts and no majoy bruises..haha.. but would not want to go skating or the time being now.. i prefer walking...

talking of walking... haiz.. i dun noe wat is wrong with me.. really.. other than a short term memory.. i also have no sense of direction.. really me attempted to walk back to my hall after lec in the afternoon.. i was alone.. i could not do anything... jus follow the map in my hands and my instints.. which was all wrong...haha.. me walked in the wrong direction and ended up further than ever... well ... the next time.. i will just stick to somebody...terrible...

yesternight we had another outing..watching taiwan show at the lounge..haha.. our og sooo enthu...haha.. getting ridiculous liao..
tonight they coming my rooom to sing song.. how they going to to it..ha.. i dun noe.. but we are jus going to make noise~..then go and watch guess guess guess downstairs..ha

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yeah.. ok.. not really first day of school.. jus some welcome ceromony.. watever.. it starts at 910.. but i dun noe how to get there.. meeting up with some hall mates.. but dun noe wheher they noe or not... i have no idea whether they are meeting for breakfast.... but me having milo and oreos now..ha a great way to start the day.. and the music in the background is symbolically : "We will get there" by Sun Yan Zi....

somethings in life , which people take for granted i would understand.. i fail to ...
sometimes when people believe that some things are naturally beyond my grip i surprise them..
but most of the time.. its the first one...

wat to do.. i have a very short term memory.. i take twice the length of time to remember pple's name and take half the time to forget them again...i cannot remember some of my NBS oG names liao..
so i am determined to remember my hall og one.. to be continued,,

well well well..
wat can i say.. the hall nine camp have certainly revealed a side of me which never came out before.. lol.. no lah.. like blogging at 5 in the morning?... after one day of beach games and sp night and stuff.. its amazing that i am still able to seat up and type.. but i still can and can still think straight.. despite having drank very very little.. haha...well.. i am still a very guai little gal..

wat have i got to say about the camp?.. well.. its definately not as stressful as the NBS one lor.. and i think its becos of the NBS camp.. i have learnt to take things in my stride and have learnt not to think too much about my image of anything.. and just have fun.. hall nine camp..(if u are bored abt the campy stuff.. dun read on.. but i must contine.. for i have realised that i have lost deep thoughts recently.. been thinking very simple stuff everyday like.. wat cheer.. wat crap to say.. and stuff.. watever... me need to get back my old bloggy act chim accent..haha... still considering whether to take lit as a minor man.. sianz)... back to the campy stuff.. well as i am now indeed less self conscience.. a lot of crap came out flowing also.. and somemore plus more pple noe me than i know them becos i am steve meimei and i am the garang one ah..and my group only have like 5 gals at max... me got to play almost every game.. something that is not at all possible at nbs( i noe this comparison thingy is not nice.. but hey.. its not that i am more pleased with either one of the camps.. both are great in their own ways.. just that complaining is included in the package ...ha).. well so from tug and pull (where i go flying after 1-2-3 pull...) to the human pyramid... to miss mambo (!!??) to BEST FRESHIE!!! of my og..lol...and me got to swim a lot during the pool games...me love swimming!~...
okok yap yap.. and last of all .. happy birthday to myself~.. my birthday wish would be that all my friends and family stay in good health and stay cheerful forever!~

yes....
today day 3 liao..muahhha..
thats wat i am happy about.. my og isnt the most enthu and noisy one.. but they are nice pple... when gals cheer... can only hear me cheer... ha.. cos after nbs camp.. dun really care much liao.. figure.. let my hair down while i can ..have lots of fun.. noe lots of pple.. and be real cool!~
haha.. tmw will be going city hike.. then sentosa for beach games and sp night.. will be a long day and will not be returning to the hostel tmw.. woah.. sia... how many sets of clothes will i have to bring so that i will last till friday afternnoon?.. wll be continued..

oh.. my lanudry actually came out ok..haha

hello~
me should be sleeping now..haha.. 254... tmw have to wake up at 815.. but who cares.. me learning hostel life is like this... u late late dun sleep.. wait up like sleepy head in the morin.. totally blur..
well.. i am feeling bored now.. not really.. i was chatting with my brother on msn just now... and me was not online and i actually typed a whole load of crap to him.. before traveling to level 5 to the lundry room to figure out the washing machine... think we never set properly.. and it went tumbling liao.. brother say got setting btw synthtic and cotten.. wonder how it will turn out.. will keep u all up dated..haha
 
had a pretty nice day today..
played many nice games... wat games.. haiz.. very hard to describe.. fun games jiu dui le!..haha.. somemore the og only got 8 pple easier to know pple...
ok.. remember the last time i had an entry on the diff names i had a diff places?..haha... well ,, guess zihui is always not enough..pple have taken to calling me stevey-mei-mei.. haha.. actually sound quite sweet.. cos pple dun call me meimei.. like got so many kors.. hahaa (for those who dun noe.. mybrother is called steve).. and then they figured out in one way or another my 'english' name... stephanie or stefanie... watever....and then
ok.. well..i forget wat i wanna said...hhaa.. seeya~

well well.. lunch at 12..
but me still sitting here.. well.. today is day 2.. played war games and were on the defending stride... haha.. we won so many.. like gamblers..hhaa/.. welll will be buz these free days.. so will not be blogging so often.. but now me got comp in my hostel.. me can go online everyday!! even in the weeee hours in the morning..haha.. how are u guys?.. hope to see u all really soon!!! gals outng again?.. hmm.. me wanna go eat again!!// how abt meeting aftere school at jurong pt?..haha... or come visit me one fine day.. haha.. must go.. see ya guys around!!

me in good spirits recently despite the the discomfort from being ill.. but amazingly i still have a good appetite which is very weird.. before the camp.. i had gastric problems for like 2 weeks.. but after being force fed for 4 five days at regular meal times.. i am cured!..haha... now i just have to keep it that way....

tmw theres going to be an og outing.. to watch king arthur and having dinner or lunch together with my og at marina somewhere...

on friday i think there's a gals outing.. u all going to watch the movie right?.. how abt i join u all after the movie..

still haven not receive anything from hall 9 for the camp.. to think have to go through all the games all over again is quite tiring... cannot imagine.. but i think i can take those stuff better now.. cos the nbs camp really made me forget who i really am...jus go crazy..get feverish...

cannot wait for school to start... cannot wait to meet my tutorial mates.. cannot wait to see the gals at the outing.. (suddenly i recall the days we all spend together in the canteen, at the scope, in the library behind the audi.. be it chatting sleeping complaining, copying homework).. cannot wait to see xuemei's face when the idea that she will be living with a person like me sets in... ha.. cannot wait to have a life again.. but hey i still wanna be eighteen... me dun wanna grow up.... :P

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i've got a fever . i'm hot.. i cant be stopped...i got a front ohh back ah cant be stopped....

thats the delta cheer we all noe.. well.. i recently understood why got the ohh and ah... cos when u have a fever.. your body ache all over.. thats why u have the ohhs and ahhs...
felt feverish on sunday afternoon.. went back early from work.. the next morning.. when took my temperature.. it was 38.1 degrees.. at about 11plus.. my brain felt i was going to explode as though binded tight by a metal band... and that was 39.1 degrees and off to the doctor i went .. and after about 5 minutes of listening to my back and chest.. he concluded i had inflammation in my throat that had resulted in the fever and gave me a 23 bucks worth of medication... this is the second time i have seen the doctor in the past month.. sianz sia.. am i becoming a sick cat?.... and one thing.. me better liao! alive and kicking~

me got into hall 9.. now wondering whether to go for the hall camp... really not very sure... i am not as hestitent now as before for the nbs foc.. well.. now its just whether i can still take another 5days 4 night camp.. at least there will be a bed to sleep in.. no more sleeping in sleeping bags.. when i got back from the the nbsfoc..i could not get used to my bed... can u imagine that?.. a bit ridiculous.. and these few days... when ever i put my head down on the the pillow.. it hurts between the ears.. dun noe why.. i feel better sleeping sitting upright.....well should be better in a few days....

Day 1
met 7.00am at boon lay mrt
wet and muddy games and a blind folded mud slide at night
left ntu at 1.00 for sentosa to stay at sentosa ntuc chalet

Day 2
beach games on the beach and in the sea
saw fiona xie and toro filming
many games were disrupted by heavy down pour
fright night in the sg heritage trail till 2am
not very scary for me..
slept at sentosa ntuc chalet

Day 3
return to ntu
pool games
captains's ball tug of war in the pool
majong in the water
diving off 5 m diving board
night at aranda country club

Day 4
decorate hair with leaves and aluminiumm foil
food trail at chinatown
sp night
clubbing at rouge till 12
no sleep at aranda country club

Day 5
amazing race around ntu
closing ceromony at Lt5
dinner with og at jurong pt
share cab home
Zzzz at home

hi pple.. this is zihui... i guess i am back.. i am glad i am back.. to speak in politically correct terms.. i would say that the camp was a fun one and there cannot be another which is better.. do i sound bitter?.. maybe i do.. well.. hmm.. well there were really many great games whether on land in the pool.. around the school in the sea or at the beach or even at chinatown.. they were great games.. i dun think i can remember wat happen every day.. or even live to tell u all the details.. cos i guess u wont be that interested to listen to it either way..
memorable events include squeezing with 15 pple in a small chalet room and sleep ing in a sleeping bag on the floor everynight.. traveling to sentosa in the middle of the night like refuges.. sp night... had a weird sp.. impressed at how guys freshies have to go through such a tedious cermony just to fetch their sp to dinner.. if u all wanna noe.. can ask me.. will tell details.. still tired from sleeping only 3 hours a night..oh and lastly.. the funniest thing of all.. the the club we went to that night.. was right above where i have been working for the past few weeks.. interesting?... na.. well glad i went for the camp.. at least i have got a bunch of pple i know.. 24 in my og.. a great bunch of chiobus(excluding me..haaha.)and yandaos and a great bunch of seniors.. infamous for pervertic and obscene cheers .. thats my og LOIRE in NTU NBS FOC 2004!!

"Happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued is always beyond our grasp, but if you sit down quietly may alight upon you."
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"Love means making the other happy, even from a distance."
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"It's a long road when you face the world alone, when no one reaches out a hand for you to hold. You can find love if you search within your soul, and the emptiness you felt will disappear."
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"Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and be loved is the greatest happiness of existence."
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and something very very sweet:
"If I were Peter Pan, you'd be my happy thought"

i am ok now..
after a few days of feeling low... at some point.. i can actually felt like i was in a washing machine being tumble dried.. but everthing thing is ok now.. since i got back from work..guess that work take my mind off a lot of things.. figure that if i rest too much.. there will be negative effects to my brain.. well i told myself.. no more i , me , myself business... focus on something else.. like.. work.. well guess it worked~ :P..and i am back and happy yuan again~..haha.. just saw gunni yingling and rosie and dai on msn... so happy to see yah guys : ).. thanks for all the love.. i really felt them and i am blessed to have friends like u!!

i am feeling terrible now.. not comfortable at all.. like there is something at my thoat , in my heart that i want to get out .. but its just stuck there.. i jus sms my the ogl to say sorry for being rude just now.. kind of stupid.. but watever.. but his name victor reminds me of the character in frankinstein.. i dun remeber which.. but it must be someone bad..

i dun noe why... but i am all mean and bitter this week.. maybe i am trying to get attention.. or that i am just going through a phrase.. but from the entries i blog.. i think anyone can see.. i am obviously not smiling as i am typing.. well not funny.. for a moment.. i thought of an analogy.. that i was like a 5 year old kid.. who had been living all his live having fun everyday .. playing with his ultraman and batman toys and watching barney and hi-five and sesame street on tv everyday and catching all the great cartoons in the evenings.. and then suddnely.. mummy says.. hey u need to go to preschool now.. no more sleeping late.. no more naps.. no more tv every afternoon and no more playing with the action figure toys everyother hour.. and next thing i know.. i am at the preschool.. with a huge mass of noisey kids.. noone familiar.. no tv to watch my fav cartoon..my ultraman action figurine is not by my side either.. but there is however a young lady who is trying to be nice to me.. wat i am trying to say is.. i dun like changes.. i dun like uncertanies. like a stubborn little child who does not understand the purpose of going to school or more importantly.. the separation from his toys and difference in daily life style is terrifying... and i feel so stupid...

why cant i think positive?.. think of all the fun u will have.. the friends u will make.. why are u wallowing in your own sorrows?.. like pple care.. if u dun pull urself out.. no one can help u.. and one part of u is thinking bitterly.. i dun need anyone's help.. i dun want to be helped either.. i am like a ball being stuck in a deep dark hole..everytime i attempt to bounce myself up.. into the air and out of the hole i appear into a bright and cheery environment.. but what goes up must go down.. before i can even catch wats around me.. i fall back down....so wats the use?.. wait for the rain to come i guess .. for it to fill the hole with water before i can float out.....

as much as i would like to think that pple care.. i would rather not... life sucks .. but at least i just pulled out all the negative thoughts out and pasted them somewhere.. hopefuly i have a good night sleep tonight...i want no more dreams of me crying.. one is enough..

me just received a call from my ogl victor...arhhh...me got into the nbs foc.. am i naive cos that i think that i will not get in cos i sent in the letter late and crossed my fingers for days?.. and the stupid ogl was like asking.. can u make it for all 5 days?... i was like.. can i not?.. and he said.. not.. oh well then why u ask?.. maybe me not in a good mood.. and i rebutted him again when he ask me.. can u bring 50 dollars on sat?.. i was like.. i can dun bring?... well thinking of it.. i think he just labeled me to be a gal with attitude problem.. oh well .. a great start to the FOC.. i am soooo excitied.... get me out of here....

went to watch spiderman with jin today.. cool movie.. everyone should watch.. its like being in a comic book.. but one part spiderman tried to stop a train by using his legs as brakes.. that is like so superman(he always does that wat)..well it did not work.. but in the end he succeeded with a lot of webby and using all his strength to protect the pple in the runaway train..and the nice part.. pple tried to protect time .. all shape and sizes..

guess sometimes everyone wants to believe in a hero.. someone to remind us to be good and be proud of being right.. everyone of us has a hero within urself.. but u may have to sacrifice some dreams to be one..