New year resolutions (A REVIEW)

+dun complain so much(wat did i do?)

+be grateful for wat i have(yup!)

+love all my family and friends(:P)

+put my best effort into watever parttime i get(errrmmm)

+decide carefully which U which course i am gonna take(not much of a choice)

+be nice to everyone(did not turn out that great)

+not to spend to much money

+keep in contact with jc and sec sch friends(hmmm)

+dun drop my new phone so often(i even lost it)

+dun ever drop my mp3player(lost liao)

WAT DID I DO?????

quite some stuff have happened the past few days.. i can only say.. i cannot remember..except that i been trying to study hard and trying not to tao bao any subject this sem.. really.. but i think if were really were to.. hmm i wil not mind that much.. for i noe that i take some time to understand stuff.. sometimes i think un education is abt being able to understand stuff and reproduce them again in the exams at the lightning speeed of within 3 months.. hmm something i am not good yet.. cos studying has never been for me.. but wat to do.. have to figure some way to pass these three years bah... hope for the best.expect the worse!

now that i am at home... haveing not been home for abt three weeks.. i am glad.. just hope tat i will continue to do my best.. so that i will not have any regrets..

i am amused

i am amused i dunnoe why..
i dun understand why my clothes just wun dry
blame it on the passing cloud way up high
raining so much that i want to cry

i am amused i dun noe why
i dun understand why i am so nice...
so nice that pple dun think its fine
end up hurting pple which i mind

i am trying to change, it will take some time
meanwhile give me not a penny but a dime
for my thoughts to figure out
how to make this poem rhyme

like needles on the pine
they pierce through my heart like a crime
doesnt matter if u cannot find
the zihui u noe in hall nine
cos she is somewhere in between these lines
trying to show u some signs
that life is not that kind
no use if u just sit there and whine.

i love green i dun noe why
i just enjoy sitting in my bro's room and watch the grey clouds go by
see that we having endured all the grind
its the toughest moments that makes us shine

你很好 - a do

* 你很好不是我不知道 很多时候你是我的骄傲
我不好其实你也知道 很多时候我感觉自己很渺小
你很好这我早就知道 很多时候都在我的衣撩
我不好虽然你也知道 但你越好我会逃的越早
# 太好也是不好 好到变成烦恼 我只能感谢你的好
太好也是不好 结局就很糟糕 虽然你是最好 我却是最苦恼
Repeat * # #
虽然你是最好 我却是最苦恼

me and my beloved roomie!!




my room~



my table?!



my pantry!!



wat u cannot see from my room!?



my beloved neigbours!

hmmmph!.. i cannot stand it already.. i am not doing enough work!! i am letting the sleeping monster overcome me!!.. i hate power naps!!.. they always over power me!! i want to change my life style.. i hate not being able to finish my tut in time or finish studying for tests or exams in time...

someone told me.. if a person dun noe wat he/she wants.. thats like a time bomb..haha.. and will hurt pple around him one day.. how true is that?.. figure that really.. the more u dun want to hurt pple.. the more possbility such things happen... can i say something like... i just wanna stay a kid?

We are young only once, after that we need some other excuse.

say forever - 哥哥妹妹 - say forever
我一个人不孤单想一个人才孤单
有伴的人在狂欢寂寞的人怎么办
越过窗看着长街欢乐却无声
像一张卡片灯光像繁星
灿烂整条街思念的情绪湿亮我的眼
我一个人不孤单想一个人才孤单
有伴的人在狂欢寂寞的人怎么办
我边想你边唱歌想像你看着
被感动了我被抱着眼泪笑了

围巾轻碰着唇边有点暖的像亲吻的感觉
吐气变白烟飘过了眉间撞上了怀念下了一阵雪
我一个人不孤单想一个人才孤单
有伴的人在狂欢寂寞的人怎么办
我边想你边唱歌想像你看着
被感动了我被抱着眼泪笑了

气氛太美离你太远有太多的幻觉
不能快乐不能改变 cause baby i miss you

我一个人不孤单想一个人才孤单
有伴的人在狂欢寂寞的人怎么办
我边想你边唱歌想像你看着被感动了
我被抱着眼泪笑了我被抱着眼泪笑了 say forever

茉莉花
曲：李正帆 | 词：姚若龙 | 编：王豫民
好一朵美丽的茉莉花 好一朵美丽的茉莉花
芬芳美丽满枝桠 又香又白 人人夸

* 不让谁把心摘下 就等那个人爱呀
茉莉花呀茉莉花 谁当我情人 茉莉花

# 你说我真好 什么都好 谁当我情人 作梦都会笑
我望着窗外的街角 看到心酸走来 幸福走掉

Repeat * #

你说我真好 比谁都好 有适合的人要帮我介绍
如果我真的那么好 你为什么不要 为什么不要

好一朵美丽的茉莉花 好一朵美丽的茉莉花
芬芳美丽满枝桠 又香又白人人夸

茉莉花呀茉莉花

went jogging at 100am alone this morning.. cos i had a stressful day yesterday.. it exhausted me physically and mentally enough for me no not think about some matters.. well.. to some extend.. it worked.. but the problem was still there.. just that i had an outlet to vent out the excess energy on.. i so not see any other ways out...

went jogging again at 1200am just now with my friend.. same route, but there was six of us, zhiyuan, zhiyang, sek say, sheena, my cousin cheewee, and me~.. it was a better run.. the companion was good.. and funny.. for earlier in the evening.. we had jio aby 13 pple to go dinner together...ha.. a big no.. well abt the jog.. i suddenly though of something.. there was a part where we had to run down slope near to hall nine.. that part i was running alone.. as my specs were slippering off.. i held them in my hands..haha and was runnign on the road half blind..haaha the thing was.. it was a good feeling.. for everythign was blur.. and i though ..if life was just as blur and u dun noe where u are going.. but u just keep going forward.. how much better it would be.. for u will not expect anyting bad to happen.. u just jog on and on.. and its becos sometimes u see the challenges and troubles ahead too clearly that u become fearful and u puase in ur path... but at this pt of time, when u know there is a group of friends on the same route with u and that u all will reach the same spot in the end ..
on the other hand *wink*.. u can see jogging to be like attitude towars life.. if u run away from problems.. u end up the same place at the end of the route..ha..ya wat.. just one big circle.. wat i talking?.. i dun noe.. just that its the most impt to noe how to solve the problem , how to overcome it.. to gain stamina.. and be better at wat u do everyday.. then u will never dread that 2.4 route or nie route or 199 route again.. and every timeu see a problem, u see a good run. and not a tiring jog..haha

"Strength does not come from
physical capacity. It comes from an
indomitable will."
Mahatma Gandhi

just when i am feeling terrible... ya. again.. all negative and complaining again.. i see the quote from thinkexist..indomitable will... and then the comment in the last last blog...Every problem has a solution, only prehaps if we change our attitude... well.. i can agree.. really want to.. but then the the soul is willing.. but the heart is not.. ha.. yes my heart is not connected to my soul.. i am confused.. is wat i am doing correct?.. i have no idea.. maybe there is no right or wrong to start with like everything in life.... there is no need to judge.. when do i still do?.. i dun understand.. do not wish to sound disturbed.. must be exams getting to me.. ok gtg.. byez

must really say.. thinkexist.com have some really nice quotes.. i agree with almost every single one of them..haha...well i like today's one cos it reminds me of something and someone.. perception.. well.. if u look at things differently.. u can indeed change a lot of things,...despite how terrible a situation u maybe in .. a change in the way u perceive things will either make u see the light or not.. its that easy... its all in the mind..

well.. i am trying to be more positive these days... i can fortell that i am going to be buzy the next few weeks for examinations are due in 23 days!!!!..arhhh... but stay cool~.. wats the worse that can happen?.. me getting panicky and not remembering all the stuff... the subject i take this year.. does not allow me to do any crapping.. how?.. but if u look at it another way.. its just that i cannot sink any further into the ground.. the only way put is UP... but its a longgg way up.. may not even reach the top in one piece.. ha thats if i even reach the top.. which i doubt.. but hey.. the most impt thingy is that i try my best right?.. watever happens in the end.. my gulit will just haunt me as a punishment...which is sooooooo likely.. but then.. i really see things turning out for the better these days.. i just found out which situations i could not study or concentrate in ... true that it does not sound like i have found the perfect method to concentrat and study...but its better than nothing right? :P.. and of course i found my pencil box!!!!! yeappppii!!.. my 256 thumb drive was inside.. luckily fouund by a fellow hall niner who was 'clever' enough to still keep it in his room for two weeks(but he was planing to split the contents inside with a friend who i noe..)... lucky he still return me in the end..hee.. i grateful liao.. and last but not least, i found a special someone.. someone special.. crazy also..must be.. cos i am too~ not really crazy over each other..ha.. just very crazy..ha.. crazyyuan rulz~

what do i want to do with my life..
what do i want to achieve..
what else?

these qns.. i want to find out the answer.. or maybe its not so impt after all..
but then.. TO FAIL TO PLAN, IS TO PLAN TO FAIL..so i guess u must figure somehow where u want to go after all... at least.. AIM FOR THE MOON, AT LEAST WHEN U FALL, YOU'LL BE AMONG THE STARS...
right?...
but then... now no time liao.. must jia you!!! wat rubbish i talking?...
i noe liao.. ask less qns.. do more constructive stuff.. dun think too much.. just do it.. to all who are mugging for exams.. jia you!!!!!

ai yah.. no time liao..
going to go home.. means its sat.. means i can see my mommy..haha~
got lots of work to do and lots to do.. i must jia you!!.. msn down and so is edventure.. then someone jio me to go home in 15 min.. good dun need to go home alone..:P.. yap.. see ya guys around~

well i figured ... theres no pt saying any 'wat ifs'.. we trashed it out..(and i dun think its trash).. things happen.. how we got the truth out.. things seem out of my control.. to me there is a sense of vulnerability in me.. dun noe why.. like u noe all the tricks up the magicians' sleve.. and u need not guess anymore..(which is good and bad in its different ways..).. but dun worry.. i will still continue to smile.. be there confusion behind or tears... thats another matter...

ya.. i blog.. therefore wat u see are my thought.. so wat if i think that way?.. am i not entitled to my thoughts?.. how come i suddenly realised that i am not tactful enough.. or should i say that.. i should not wrote wat i have written..i should have just kept the things to myself.. hey.. i though this is mine blog.. i can do wat i want in it.. i dun see why u pple should get so worked up over it.. ya.. its my blog.. wat i say.. u dun have to agree.. u dun have to understand, u dun have to react.. if u do.. is it my problem?.. if u have a problem .. ask urself.. why u so worked up also someone's comments to herself?...and wat if i cannot even say wat i want to say in my own blog.. well i might as well just write some fairy tale story in it.. were everything is beautiful and i offend no one...

u will not imagine wat i have done this week.. had to quizes this week.. acc on mon day and fm on tues... and guess wat.. i flunked both..yap BOTH
and then??.. i skipped 50% of my lesson this week also.. i skipped a mkting tut on monday and a stats lect on tues and a stats tut today.. reasons.. prepare for test, lousy lecturer,woke up late respectively... yap.. i am a lousy kid.. wat am i doing here?.. can someone tell me?.. and just when i want to start complaining how bad i am at studying.and how bus is just not the subject for me.. a loud voice in my head is like telling me.. (conversion goes like this)

'do u know that there are pple out there who cant even get into ntu?'
'i noe.. then i rather let the place to them'
'wat u talking?.. u are here alread.. u should make use of the chance given to u and stop whining..'
'ok..ok.. stop it.. will study'

well.. in year two business students are suppose to take specialisation course.. ha..went for a talk today.. then guess wat.. i realised that i canoot take bankig and finance cos i do not love figures and numbers and intergration.. things that are very essential to BnF and then i cannot take business it also.. cos its got a steep it curve.. means u got to LOVE IT like siao and appreciate the develpment of techonlogy.. ha... i only like my computer that all the technology i need.. and then i cannot take actuarial science... same goes for the maths and business sense... woah wat to doooooo???

i am actually quite amused how irritiating a person can get. or.. how irritated i can get by a human being.. i mean.. this guy is really testing my limits lor.. and my roomies one too and my neigbours too... well if u think this is funny... this is a game it is not.... (just in case u have not figured out.. WE CANNOT STAND THE SIGHT OF U.. thankyou)yes that the pt i want to make.. ya i noe u are quite thick... cos even if i am saying it here... i doubt u will understand... so i shall not bother to continue.. i find it even a waste of time to write abt u in my blog...

i am quite useless...
i went crazy just now..
i looked for someone to pick a fight
i felt like crying...
i wanted to shout out loud..
i wanted to hit someone
i wanted to whin..
i wanted to just end everything..
all this becos i am not getting wat i want..
i needed a hug..
i did not want to be alone..
i just wanted to be myself for a moment..
i just wanted to let everything come out...

worse of all i feel gulity
i just want to be left alone..

its 1019am now on a very sunny morning.. on a sunday and i am in school now sitting in front of my comp.. i should be studying... i was .. i reall was.. had waked up at abt 700 to study.. and that did not last for more than an hour considering that i even went to bath to make myslef more awake.. i really dun noe wat to do to make myself feel more awake or motivated.. really.. i am now trying really really hard for i have seen exams r coming.. and the 'let it be' attititude cannot work anymore.. i mean it does not help much to the situation now.. i can only try to motivate myself...

reach for the moon, at least when u fail u will fall among the stars..

it does really mean a lot to someone that me who is unmotivated to study at all.. of course.. i can always convince myself and keep reminding myself that i am doing all these for that i have already paid for my education and thats no small sum really.. i must not let my parents down.. i must study for the people around me.. for that will work better.. for i dun want them to be worried.. i have already made a pact with my friend lingjie by that of curling our baby fingers together..ha..silly and childish.. but it worked for a while..ha.. still working.. cos reminds me of all my friends in general...

and why do u think i am up awake early on a sunday morning and still in hall?.. have an acctounting quiz tmw and fm quiz on tues...aahaha.. going to die.. but not without a struggle..ha.. life is like that... challeges just keep on coming..i must jia you.. you too!!!

and something impt.. peiyu!!.. i dream of u this morning.. in that span of less than one hour of dreamy nap.. i saw u very clearly in my dreams.. i was in a temple.. praying and when i turned around.. i saw u.. and the first thing u said or i said was like' have not see u for a long time..' which is so damn true.. how are u gal??.. u must take care ok??...missya