Love is like a friendship caught on fire.
In the beginning a flame, very pretty ,
often hot and fierce,
but still only light and flickering,
As love grows older, our hearts matures
and our love becomes coals, deep-burning and unquenchable,

Bruce Lee

wat hv i 4 u here??
sian.. i am bored... have to decide.. go do work?...
have this door to door survey..but then there r committments like netball and publicity and wsc.. cannot seem to get anything right..
i dun noe why.. too messed up.. no school also like that.. been playing reversi these few days too.. have also forgot the pt of playing liao.. its like losing game after game after game... and then have biz mag goodie bag items..arhh.. simple job.. but i am procrastinating stuff after stuff.. and then there is volunteer's home visitation.. and then theres the volunteer's camp.. and then there is girls outing.... actually settle liao.. wed.. but then theres the wsc visitation...ah..... i complained theres nothing to do.. but now.. everything is clashed together.......
haiz...

hohoho.. wats there to ho abt ?
i wonder.. Xmas is nearing
my wallet is thinning
i dun noe wat to do
there are tons of presents i wan to get
for friends out there like u!

but sadly now i need a job
some handy cash would be good
for at least i can still happily
eat all my favouite foods

i hate being poor like now
but no worries my friends
zihui will find a way out
most prob with hardworking hands

exams had been over a week now
abt one more week for nus
hope to see my friends real soon
and hope that my part time job dun clash

i have had my share of fun this sem
time to buck up and move
time to start my engine
and do something i really want to do

after so much i have said
i am still very bored
life goes on like this everyday
even when i am at home not
why am i in school u may ask
i wonder at myself too
just that life at home is more boring
when there aint anyone to irritate and theres nothing to do

books are my best friends now
learning the da vinci code and photoshop
trying to pick up a few new skills
just so i have something to blog

there are times when words are unecessary
when u understand each other's minds
so when i dun blog regularly
just remember
i am praying that we are all doing fine

hi pple.. took off my tag board.. soooo.. u better spam my comment box.. of i will die of boredom..
well in my last entry.. me was at home.. rotting... but now i am BACK IN HALL!! ..haha..why am i back?.. back to bug by roomie... and to see zy.. also :P.. and of course.. soend some time with my dear lonely soul ling jie.. ha..not bad since i come back.. on wednesday went sentosa with my tut mates.. ok.. had a bit of fun there.. then on thurs had meeting for foc biz mag and went swimming at src with lingjie.. hmm. and today.. suppose to go job hunting with that gal again..and also go buy some clothes.. i need clothees.. i need an image consultant.. haha. suddenly i think of jasmine.. ha.. how are u dear?.. and that whole bunch of u out there!! rosie! yingling! jiadai! shihui! peiyu! eunice! shuhan!hamidah!! where are u all ..how are u all??..miss ya guys.. hope u all do well in ur exams!!.. take care!~

She Will Be Loved
by Maroon 5
Album: Songs About Jane

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

Tap on my window, knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Tap on my window, knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain, oh
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

nothing to do today again
waiting for the day to past
sitting in front of the comp
wondering wats the buzz

jay chou on the radio
milo in my cup
i miss eating instant noodles
but here at home im stuck

sleep all you want
nuah all u can
no one is bothered with you
even if u wake at ten

this is not a nice poem
i am just writing for fun
it is not even funny
cos my sense of humour is left with none

something to look forward to
and thats Xmas coming ur way
wonder how im going to spend it this year
hopefully its not like every other day

never had such a boring post exam period
never had so much un-fun
prob all my friends are still buzy
i guess i just have to find someone

why can i not self entertain?
tried that when i went tm yesterday
felt really pathetic
went home straight away

at home on my bed
reading an interesting book
the lovely bones is the title
by gal who got raped and killed

realise that life is sad
only by the way u perceive it
only u can make urself happy
and doing that is crazy

wat the heck am i crapping
i am just self entertaining
dun think its called insanity
so dun start getting worried

the past sem is messy
even my roomie cannot agree more
wat else can i say
than that i didnt knew i was doing things wrong

of course its all over now
we will see the results soon
wonder how many subject i will dabao
wonder whether i will have to change room

a change of environment would be fine
a new place would be cool
or even a new roomie
for i feel extremely apolegetic to her too..

hopefully a new sem would be something to start anew
where i can put the past behind
probably settle down
and actually start doing fine

there is always room for improvement
there is always enough room for growth
let us all take a good break
before giving it another go...

hmm hello again...haiz..feeling a bit pessimistic these days.. why this way i dun noe..sian.. but i had a bit of fun today..haa...really a bit.. let me bore u with the details.. really.. lets see.. woke up at 12 plus.. have brunch..then nuah a bit more.. had lunch.. and then nuah a bit more.. here comes the highlight..go speed to get a ten dollar hair cut.. those u sit in a cubicle and get hair cut one.. like QB house.. except this one is inside the tampines this fastion.. after that went ntuc with my mom.. ha.. grabbed a box of my now current must buy.. cherry tomatoes!! yeah .. i am crazy over them,, is my second box in two days liao.. at the speed i am eating them.. my mom says that i should be turning orange soon..:P.. tats cool~
after the trip to ntuc.. when to popular bookshop!!..way cool.. cos i long time never go liao.. wanted to go find a book which i read on the seventeen mag "nina :adolescense".. hmm dun see it anywhere.. go times also dun have.. not like i really wnt to read a book.. just feeling like i want to be bookish for a while..haa. my picture of dorian grey still haven finish.. my lovely bones too...opps.. i better get back to them!~

hi pple.. its me again.. now at home.. bored.. sian.. ok.. i am not complaining.. just trying to figure out how to make the best use of my time.. hmm.. go jogging?(never wear jogging shoes home).. read books(theres a pile of them?.. go times bookshop?(they have 15% off unitl 17 i think ).. go shopping?(alone?!).. ha.. nothing seems to please me.. perhaps i will just nuah around :P.. wait for my friends finish exams and then go out..ha.. wonder if i should get a part time job.. quite sina if i do and quite sian if i dun.. i mean.. the extra pocket money would be great.. but that would mean.. working half a day away.. that would mean i cannot meet up all my friends liao.....arhhhh..
time vs money vs friends vs school work.. must really noe how to balance.. dun feel like blogging today.. seeya around~

does it matter if i say that i dun care.. i dun care how i am going to do tmw.. who wants to care when u noe that however hard u study.. u will never do well.. u will just flunk.. cos U ARE JUST NOT THERE !!

does that mean u have to give up?.. nobody is born with knowing stuff.. everyone have to learn! u dun care?.. are u kidding ?.. can u not care?.. ever second u spend in that god-damn place whether u are studying or not costs u money.. hostel fees.. allowance..school fees.. u think u want to get out of there.. HA.. u think u are pathetic.. just a few books and u are whining.. wat the heck are u?..u have come this far.. and u just say.. i dun care... who are u to say that.. who gave u the right to say that?.. someone who lost their place in ntu to a loser like u?

.... its not i never appreciated my place here..



ya right.. u are playing all day

no i am not.. there are times that i do study.. and i am trying really hard..really.. but...

ya and trying hard to get of trouble also right?.. all the nuisance u are causing... have u ever though how much peace and quiet life would be with out u?

i am talking abt exam here ok.. dun divert the topic..i am saying that i cannot make it in the exams.. i shall not say more.. for i noe explaining is no use.. i just want to say that when the results come out.. however bad they are.. i would have accepted my fate liao.. theres no.. why i never study hard enough..

u are so damn good at lying u noe?.. who are u studying for?.. if u still remember the reason.. do u think that any reason is ever valid?.. u have stepped into this place.. no matter wat.. u are getting out of here somehow.. no buts..wat makes u think u can do something in life now without that pathetic cert of yours after three years..ha.. if u got guts.. and u got any brains in that head of urs.. u will stop dreaming and GET ON WITH UR WORK!

up~(float)
down~
up~


down~

up~

up~
down~(THUD!)

thats my mood swing.. from now on i will try to make my bloggie colourfull.. yes i got nothing better to do.. yes i got a paper in three days.. yes i have got nothing better to do.. but i dun noe if u ever will feel this way.. but when i look at my bloggie.. i am happy.. cos i have all (almost ) the things i want to say.. records that i want to be reminded of when i read back sometime in the future.. well.. pple have a piece of paper to prove that they got through ntu.. wat have i got?.. ha i got my bloggie.. ha.. good for pple like be who have short term memory.. at least once in a while... i can still be reminded of the pretty times i spent in my jc days.. so different from now.. cos the pple are different i guess.. but when i read wat i wrote for friendster a few thousand years ago.. i realised that i have not really changed that much.. did i?

About Me:
i am just a simple little girl who dreams everyday of spending great time with my friends, able to go school everyday..but no exams at the end..or able to get a job have a decent income and buy somthing nice for the ones i love...other than that..i am a person who totally cannot be alone..loneliness drives me crazy..love being with friends who underztand u..love to say lame stuff..eat icecream..look nice..be nice to everyone i noe..thats me!!

Who I Want to Meet:
i would like to meet anyone who loves to question about life as much as me...not that the stuff we say must make sense..maybe someone who actually stops in his steps once in a while to watch the world go by and someone who appreciates things and pple for the way they are..or cos dun always complain abt stuff..cos there simply too many things that is out of the control of our hands.

i mean.. how do u ever think back and wonder wat u were thinking back then?...i read about wat i wrote and found it quite amusing.. cos its so true.. ha .. and yet it turned out to be a bad thing.. hmm mustnt say its a good thing or bad thing... nothing is absolute i believe.. the only thing constant is change.. i dun believe i have changed.. just that in a different environment.. i am just reacting in the way i naturally would... just a constant variable in a random environment..yup.. stats.. have to go study that!~

Life is too important to be taken seriously.Oscar Wilde

YOYOYO!!!today is friday liao.. aiyah!! i have a paper on mon and tues.. but i am still in a good mood.. why?... not that i have studied finish.. but i have been studying!!.. yes my friends.. i have actually been studying.. and enjoying some of it too.. and i realised.. the library is a real great place to study.. no distracts.. pretty greenery outside the curved glass windows of the nie library and the cool psycology books at library 2.. really.. there are many great things to look at when u are sick of wat u are trying to understand.. but the rest of the time.. its just u and ur books.. no music(occasionally from my mp3player).. no computer. no msn... no bed.. no chou chou(my smelly goofy)..no food.. and lots of pple studying too.. like u all working hard together.. sort of reminded me of the days in jc when we studied under TRC at the benches until 6 pm in the evening..going to lib to study have allowed me to study for more than 6 hours a day..ha... a feat for me!!.. i can tell myself truefully that i am doing my best studying.. despite not liking wat i am doing...lol.. and i have a new idea.. that is if i work hard now.. do my best.. work to the limit now for this week and so.. i may not have to live with regrets and another ta pao subject for the next sem.. so see the time diff?.. ha.. of course i am still the lazy person.. so.. just try keep it up.. like wat my beloved brother reminded me 'must try ur best!'.. i will!!

like ur blog..
u control the way it looks.. and the words u use, the thoughts u have,the way u want pple to react.. pple are more or less predictable.. hau want to feel sulky.. u would choose to look at the dark.. u want to feel happy.. you will look at the beautiful things around u.. its just a matter of choice of ur perception..lol...
dun u think so?.. i can be crazy now and turn my bloggie pink... yup.. pple who noe me will noe that i have really turn crazy.. well if one day that happens it would be suicidal...lol..
is that a sun rise or sun set.. doesnt really matter.. as long as u appreciate its beauty i would say

i need a more colourful life!!

some thing to cheer anyone up! baby blues!!(ironic..lol)

is it just me or is it just me?
do u study until u want to cry?
and think that everything would be better off if u die
i dun think a lot of pple is like that
pple just work hard and dun care wat the heck
they do not sit there and whine the hours alway
nor do they stare into blank air all dayi dun even think they write poems on the eve of their exams
unless they think they have more than enough time on their hands
dun ask me why i am doing this
i cannot give u an answer
for i think that anything i say nowwill not solve any problem
its not that i dun want to study...
i noe thats an excuse..
but i will try my best
and wish that all my hopes of not ta baoing will come true..

think my poems are getting more and more terrible..
i dun noe whether i should care...
but its the only thing i can be proud of
cos u will not see any grades anywhere

nice song i would say...when u are frustrated.. simply the song to scream out loud in even if u do not feel the same..
there are times when u will feel the same.. like someone just found the words to feelings u could never express.. hope that who ever feels like exploding, see that even when u are feeling left out... there are still beautiful things that can come out of it... like this song...


Welcome To My Life Lyrics
Artist(Band):Simple Plan

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don’t belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels alright
You don’t know what it’s like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like

Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you’re bleeding

No you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels alright
You don’t know what it’s like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like

Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I’m happy
But I’m not gonna be ok!

Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don’t know what it’s like
What it’s like!

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like

Welcome to my life

tell me why? tell me why?
tell me whiy i am i still here blogging?
arhhh
i always thought it was weird of my neighbour to use her laptop under her desk sitting on the floor.. wat do u noe.. i am doing it right now lor.. her fujitsu laptop.. stylo man.. so new.. so smooth, so compact.. and i just borrowed it becos my comp is down!!!!!!!!!! again.. sian.. so sian.. so to check some answers.. have to borrow her pretty little laptop.. yup
..
sian arh
tomorrow first paper!!! i am so sick i can cry.. and then i am telling myself... why are u whining??? why?? arhhh i understand.. but i cannot apply.. why am i complaining ?? did i put my best foot forward?? only i noe.. did i do my best?.. i believe i did..but am i lying to myself?.. i cannot do anyworse... i am here blogging.. and i deserve a big tight slap on my face.. no.. that would be a wasteof anyone's effort.. am i putting enough affort to convince everyone especially myself?.... am i ?.. who doesnt want to do well.. tell me??.. everyone does.. but everyone have different expectations dun they?.. why am i imposing pple's expectations on me?? arh?? i said to my roomie.. am i pathetic?... and i replied later that its too pathetic to even reply to a person like me.... i mean pple can say.. got exam. must work hard ,study, mug.. and i do the same too.. with the max i can offer.. but thats like the min pple are giving.. i dun noe if i should laugh or cry.. maybe its just me trying to run away.. from responsibilities... for working.. from everything.. giving the excuse that i am not the type for studying..ha.. ya.. if i dun understand the concept behind anything.. theres not much use for me memorising it.. and why am i not understanding?.. if i noe the answer.. i would not be here.... conclusion... just do MY best.. its not the best.. but have to make do with it right?... now.. and i was hoping.. i could come up with a better and more motivated conclusion.. maybe i am just not enlightened yet...

jia you all ntu pple reading my bloggie.. all the best!!