sometimes i think there is many things a person can do
u can show concern in many ways.. u can be thoughful and u can really go all the way out.. but how many pple really do it.. how many pple really think its worth it to do so. to do it in the first place.. must it realy be worth it?

i think some of us see the ways we can offer our help, our services, the ways we can make life much easier for each other and even lessen others' worries..even its at the expense of a little of ur time, isnt it worth it to know that someone has little less worries and frowning to do?

i was once asked .. why should i go so far to do somehing for someone who is just ur friend.. i got confused.. and hoped v hard that the answer in my heart is NOT that ' i want something in return'...
after quite long..i still did not noe the answer..its a painful process.. cos i felt that to help pple so that pple can help u in the future is pretty selfish., pretty sad.. pretty pathetic..
i did not want to do it becos of that.. but i had to justify my actions,, (why do i have to justify it anyway?) well there is an evil side to me.. its saying.. u just want to be acknowledged...
i needed a reason to justify the rational soul within me...
and i hate it...
wat is being rational?.. to understand that life isnt fair and u should judge things as they are?.. how abt this

perhaps its just like this.. u go the way .. cos it makes u feel better. cos it gives u satisfaction that u have the ability to help, to make life easier for someone, the lessen one tear drop, to make the heart a little less heavy and lonely.. thats wat friends are for isnt it?and how abt this.. by affecting pple in their lives.. that how u really show u exist for a reason...
u noe wat i mean?.. i feel that i am talking a bit no sense.. no structure..the answer/explanation is not clear too.. pehaps i have not found the 'theory' yet. i have not understand my own actions yet.. thinking for half an hour.. is it self worth?... maybe i am just working towards the ideal self...
is that an answer?...

from 'one liters of tears'
my diary is the only evidence i existed isnt it?

jsut came back from outside..
yesterday, my last and most feared paper turned out to be pretty okie.. everyone was expecting the worst.. all the mkt students were freaking out.. and i went numb with all the butterflies lying in the pool of acid in my tummy
but i am glad its ok..
i am grateful to all my friends especially joanie, nha, carmen, eddy, kangyu, mel, helena,shufen, yw for being there for me when i needed help or even when i needed to irritate someone..thanks guys :> exams are the toughest stuff around now.. now its over. i have nothing to say, but be grateful that we all made it thru in one piece
>.<..
yesterday after the paper, 5 of us.. me nha, carmen and joanie and mr eddy headed to jp. we were all reliefed after the paper.. hungry too.. and had errants to run lol.. so at jp we had sushi. something eddy wanted.. and we all didnt mind.. and then ate icecream, registered carmen's sim card..fixed my specs, bought joanie;s snacks and also carmen;s corn soup ingredients.. nha din do much, but was nice to enough to let me sppon feed her icecream ..hee cheer up gal/! u will do well one..
after that come back to hall.. had to pack..

this afternoon went to id.. then bugis to buy the playtimes at kino but could not find, found it at action city instaed, was v happy.. then i went to the national lib.. which is the biggest lib i ever seen.,, lack a bit of coziness still i would say..then and went the small building bugis icon i think to window shop..lol. which reminded me of the green blouse i am currently eyeing at pepperplus..lol though that i can wear that to pa.. well see bah.. then came back hall le.. had a good trip today

have a gd chat with carmen... but was dominating the topic.. cos i was feeling chatty. paiseh neh.. too tired.. too little sleep
look forward to eating more of ur delights man.. and watching scary movie together!!

well then.. the good talk with her make me learn more stuff as well.. stuff u cant learn from books..
she taught me how not to get into trouble..
tell u carmen.. i have been getiing into trouble.. only u understand now..
i cant really turn back.. cos it would seem fake.. it would seem that i was superficial..
all i wanted was friendship.. something platonic

me love sociology. everyone should take a module on it at least once in a life time.. had a v interesting semester of 'the changing family'
wat impacted me was how families have changed over the years. how we accept the things around to be the way they are... something to share..

things i learnt: the stalled revolution
the society is changing rapidly, more women are entering the work force as they become more educated. more prefer working as it gives them a sense of worth. gratitude is shown for their work, there is a pay, less is staying at home to do housework(no pay, no gratitude given) compared to statistic ten year ago.

wat abt the society, does it still feel that women should be in charge of housework?is there a greater sense of participation in housework for the men? are there less expectations for a women to do housework and take care of her children.

Apparently no. While the role of women have revolved over the years from being at home to going into the work place, they HAVE to cope with children and housework as well. (this is taken into consideration that more nuclear families are formed and that less stay with their parent.

while this popular miss universe topic: challenges of the modern women.

has no right or wrong answer, the sociey and husbands have not revloved (hence the stalled revolution) pple still do expect u to do housework, pple still expect u to take care of ur kids. if u dun, u are a bad mom, men are sometimes willing to share the burden, but how many willlingly do so without u asking them, or even u hinting or begging them to.

on a side note: men associate love with sex (most of the time).. ok maybe for sg men, love is to be able to provide for u.. do u noe
that if u (the men) help with housework, the women would think that u are the sweetest thing on earth ..really to be so helpful to share the burden. she may actually feel taht u do love her. but studies have shown that men dun associate housework and love together..
so for the guys out there.. be nice, do a little housework.. its worth more than a diamond ring on vdae i tell u.
if u dun believe, ask ur mom..

later i am goin for my last paper tis sem.
v bad
i couldnt sleep last night
turned in at 4am and tossed for quite long
i dun think its solely the effect of the coffee
woke up at 9am just now
woke up with fear in my tummmy
its like the butterflies have all died inside from the acid i been churing inside
the feeling was obvious, * i am dead*

haiz..
well this is life..

wat is life?
life wat u want it to be
wat u see it to be
its a self fulfilling prophecy

Name:Premiere Global Services (10835)
Address:72 Anson Road, #11-03 Anson House S(079911)
Attachment Period: 8 MAY 2006 to 15 JUL 2006 (10 weeks)
Working Hours & Days: 9.00am - 6.00pm (Monday - Friday)
Field (code):Marketing (M)
Work Nature (code):Mktg & sales activities (3)
Programme Description:
1) Assist Marketing department in organizing trade shows & events and marketing campaigns.
2) Perform market research and analysis on vertical applications relevant to our services.
3) Develop marketing strategies to market vertical product applications.
4) Assist sales team in managing sales leads and reports.
5) Going on sales appointments with sales team to experience industry selling(optional).

attachment results are out..
tmw last paper
so many things need to do

*move on .. move back..
*meet fyp tutor
*get pa clothes
*get makeup, learn makeup
*catch a game of NSL or two
*go bookshop & library
*go chiong
*attend slumber parties
*pa ends
*look forward to FOC
*sch start
*election com
*final year liao

i haven got a life!! thats why u see me messing around with my blog again...

new feature: poll set up on the right --->

VOTE NOW!

haha.. up to u lah.. just making it a bit interactive,
if only i noe more stuff..
look forward to more of ur comments..haha

had a paper today..v v bad.. did not noe wat was 'family reform'.. had to smoke thru that qns cos it was a complusory qns.
the paper 2.5hr long, me proudly finish in 2 hr, only 3pg per qns, a bit little, wat to do dunnoe enough..haiz.. shall have to jia you for acc2!!

< yuanz's philosophy 126 >

wat do you say to urself when u do things u should not be doing?

pls think abt this qns


do u say:


* i shouldnt be doing this * - the tryin-to-prioritse

* why am i doing this? * - the confused

* might as well get this done* - the procastinator

* lets get this done man! * - the confident

* can i get someone to do this for me?* - the tai-chi master

* this is fun!!* - the enjoy-er

* who wants to join me?" - the initiator

me?.. i say.. * if i am going to do it! i want it done gd!*..ha.. u noe

which one lah..

todae.. shall share with u some nice pic!
of me and my neighbour..michelle!!~ *is that how u spell?..
anyway. she is v pretty, (look at the pic..drool...)chubby v cute and dance v v v well.. i offered to be her pole is she wants to go chiong one there.. but dun think she will ever need
haha she is also a v sweet gal.. v neat and clean and sweet (did i say this before?).. and v motherly ( *i can hear her screaming*).. ha.. like advertisment like that.. so grab her now.. limited editions available!!.. oh no!.. you guys ant fast enough..muahaha.. she's taken liao, but a v sweet guy as well..haha.. v interesting couple, v crappy too..

actually we dun really talk much .. but due to exam stress..we have started talking (quite loudly) at our common corridor, which is still nice, no regrets, better than trying to start a convsation in the early morning while brushing your teeth right?lol..
yup so michelle!.. you take care when u go 48 yeah!! perhaps u can get a whole dance grp formed at the single room row..lol.



.it was great knowing u man.. always so nice..and thanks for talking to me when i was really bored and had to interupt u hanging ur clothes..from now on u can do it in peace... i will still remain here in 45 and attempt to take revenge on the theif who stole ur stuff.. if i get my hand on him..haha.. jia you gal!! have a damn sweet life!!

1243am
alone in hall
cicadas chirping loudly outside
speakers playing song: 拥抱我(hug me)
silence in the heart still refuses to go away
4 papers down
2 more to go

will be moving out soon
my bro will be flying soon too
my turn to stay at home
'ur turn to watch over' he says
indeed

friend mentions newpaper big walk
21may, 0730am at kallang national statium
thinking of asking the jc gals to go
dunnoe wat will be their respond
perhaps its just one of my 'in the mood' ideas

wats my worth.. wat am i suppose to do now.. is it only to study?.. isit only to be filial? or am i to be just me.. let the time and society mould me to the way i should be..do things that i should be doing..

its like when u got your first handphone
u wait for smses
u like smses
u dun care who its from
u just want to be smsed

i wait for that orange button to popup
i wait for u to msn me
i wait for pple to notice i exist
i wait for things to happen

want to go out breath some fresh air
want to go for a jog
want to do somehing crazy
want to do.. many many things..
but where is the strength.. courage..
need that friend.. need that company..
or else zihui is nothing..nothing..

0108am
still in the room
in front of the comp
alone

morning pple, (look at time*) my paper is due in hmm 2 hrs time,it starts at 130.. and 1130 i am still in hall. its not that i am terribly clever and i am not studying, its just that nothing seems impt to me and nothing gets into my brain when i noe its an open book. so.. i just gave up and decided to come here..

but anyway i woke up at 930 today, so terribly proud of myself, i snuzzed( watever u call tat function) for 1 and a half hr, b4 i forced myelf to climb out of bed. but wake up so early .. still did nothing much, drank milo, stole TODAY from the lounge to read in my room. dun noe if i wnat to put it back...

let me introduce the current fetish. or desire of my life..haha http://www.playimaginative.com, yups and this is the newest issue!! ..yup. not that anyone is interested.. this baby is damn cool ( sounds like i am describing a car/my creations)

.. someone buy it for me can?..(ha.. i sound like a .. i dunnoe wat.. always see pple asking pple to buy stuff for them.. i though its weird, feel weird too .. now i noe, SO DUN TAKE ME SERIOUSLY WHEN I SAY SO..) ha..or go kino with me to check it out.. is published on 20th of everymonth. during pa i am determined to go library, yeah.. i need to read some stuff to upgrade my lousy peany brain of mine, need to learn to draw too.. :>

got a friend eddy who knows pretty much abt astrolgy, often think its quite accurate, perhaps we humans/people are still part of the huge universe ( something we often dun keep in mind) and tat we are just specks of dust compared to the giant balls of gases revolving round the sun. perhaps the stars do some in handy when moding ur character.. or at least the elements in ur, (we are maade up my elements in the perodic table too)

some things abt a leo..
Leo people are grand, confident and generous, although you tend to be egocentric and can be somewhat overbearing.
The Sun, the ruler of our inner nature, is enthroned in Leo, the sign of its own house, or rulership. This energy is thoroughly regal, the lion being the king of beasts, for proud Leo regards himself as the natural centre of attention - and confidently expects others to step back and pay homage when his bushy mane is displayed in the limelight...
Determined Leo, a fixed sign, can be rather stubborn and resistant to imposed changes
Though full of ambition and enthusiasm, Leo has to admit to a lazy streak and, given the opportunity, will take the easy way out, especially when a situation offers little fun or glory. This is something lazy, luxurious Leo needs to watch.
Leo rules the back and heart, so people with Leo active in their charts are subject to over-exertion, general problems with stress in the back and ailments of the heart. You have a strong constitution and can usually overcome your problems, many of which are of your own making, due to overindulgence.

sometimes i just think that.. i am happy in my little own world..
sounds so self centered, but its suppose to sound contented
i do stuff like.. check how many pple linked me.. 10 links!! is that gd or not?
ha.. perhaps... am i hungry for attention or wat.. i am giving that all to myself now
since i am now single.. there is pretty much nothing to do except think who i should beg to go out for meals with. cos i hate having them alone. its pretty sad i think, i rather not eat..

happen to talk to joanie, my classmate, she's got an uncle that sells bags.. theres a website, which is quite badly done, it think.. hmm think it can be a bit less green, although i love green.. but then.. any gals out there looking for a bdae or mother's day pressie can drop me a msg if u want anything there.. can help u guys get.

mean time here is a site that i found that got nicer sites.. something i like pple like jasmine and shuhui and hami would like v much. http://www.manic.com.sg/blog/archives/000264.php
its like got TONS OF STUFFS.. maybe i just country bumpkin, cos i haven really got over how wide the world wide web is..

well .. the more u learn the more u will know u need to learn, the more u see, the more u will see that u have not seen..

perhaps after exam can try and help her uncle do somehing abt the webby, cos layout v impt, its like a store front!! maybe models for the bags?.. like in the magazines?.. have promotions for bulk sales or even holis like mother's day. that will take a lot of effort and skill. right now i cant even fix that scroll bar prob on my blog..haiz.. jia you bah.. and too all too~ have a bagg gd time!

muahaha
look wat i have done??
did u miss the cute little sky pic that was up yesterday? nowe i changed it to milk..haha hl milk , cos the carton was still sitting on the table and photoshp was itching to be activated. yups added a small little column of 'stuff i do'on the right.. nothing much. just a place to keep me motivated to do more!!
haha all the best with exams everyone
for some dachang jin flash look here and be entertained!!

and another flash story to share .. v nice and touching!!

and if u are really freaking bored, build ur southpark character here, 'print-screen' to save the pic yeah~


this is me freaking out.. hee

haha cute song to share~

lonely - akon

Lonely I'm Mr lonely,
I have nobody,
for my owwwn
I’m so lonely,
so lonely
I’m Mr Lonely
I have nobody,
for my owwnnn
I’m so lonely

Y'all, this one here,
Goes out to all my players out there, man, ya know
Thay got that one good girl, dawg
That’s always been there man, like
took all the bullshit
Then one day she can’t take it no more
And decided to leave

Yeah
I woke up in the middle of the night
And I noticed my girl wasn't by my side,
Coulda sworn I was dreamin',
For her I was feelin',
So I had to take a little ride,
Back tracking on these few years,
Tryin figure out what I did to make it go bad,
Cause ever since my girl left me,
My whole life can crash in a moment.. ,I’m so

Lonely (so lonely),
I’m Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
for my own (nobody to call my own,girl)x2


Can't believe I had a girl like you
And I just let you walk right outta my life,
After all I put you through you still stucked
Around and stayed by my side,
What really hurt me is I broke your heart, baby
You were good girl and I had no right,
I really wanna make things right,
Cause, without you in my life girl, I’m so


I’m so lonely (so lonely)
I’m Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
for my own (nobody to call my own,girl)x2


Been all about the world ain't never met a girl
That can take the things that you been through
Never thought the day would come
Where you'd get up and run
And I would be out chasing you
Cause ain't nowhere in the globe I'd rather be,
Ain't no one in the globe I’d rather see
Then the girl of my dreams that made me be
so happy but now so lonely

Lonely (so lonely)
I’m Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
for my own (nobody to call my own, girl) x2


Never thought that I would be alone (be alone),
I didn’t think you'd be gone this long, (gone for long)
I just want you to call my phone,
So stop playing girl and
Come on home (come on home),
Baby girl I didn't mean to shout, (ohhh)
I want me and you to work it out, (work it out)
I never wished to ever
Hurt my baby (Hurt my baby)
And it’s drivin me crazy cause I'm so

Lonely (so lonely)
I’m Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
for my own (nobody to call my own,no)x3

i am bored.......

happen to think tat my blog getting a bit dusty, so decided to invite more pple into my world. nothing to be proud of i would say, but there is even nothing to be ashame of..ha. i think.. lets not think too far..

made some changes to my template.. so long liao.. really forget how to do such stuff le.. i agree with carmen. its a bit bright.. like store display and lighting.. it affects how long a person want to stay on a webby.. will take a note to change to colour yeah.. perhaps after exams..
took off my bhb 'act cute pic' also.. although i dun think its v cute.. but reasonable right? now its a pic of clouds.. and a pretty round sun peeking among it..
v simple.. but dun suit the whole blog. heck arh. a place to rest ur eyes yeah.. if only i remember more of the flash lessons. perhaps then i can do more..
the blog doesnt have the best layout. but its my blog~ hee~

i am fine.. and i smile when i say it..
when i smile, i dun mean that i am entirlely happy, i just think its funny
well u may not think its funny but i do , be it right or wrong to think it that way

my roomie said i was mean
and i become meaner
i remember when i was in sec sch, some one wrote on my table/left a note saying i should be more tactful
i didnt noe wat it mean then
now i do. and i been getting worse,,

yes i do have the intention to change my blog colour.. maybe green or somehing..
but i forgot all my html le.
i wanted sunshine. i wanted somehing warm. turn out.. its all fake, just artifical bright light,,
wats not fake in this world
perhaps i will just which back to black.. perhaps not.. black is so me. time to step out the confort zone

天空突然一片辽阔
原来你是真的已经离开我

在我不熟悉的世界过新的生活
闭上眼让泪水滑落

此刻你已真的永远离开我
在另外一个没有我的世界

自由的走

how about this

10 Reasons why i write here:

1. i am bored
2. i think that i am very free and can afford the time to cast my thoughts
3. i want to be able to look back and reflect on wat i have done now and then
4. to communicate my emotions and thoughts without being a public nusiances
5. i am trying to procrastinate
6. i am convinced tat pple are interested in my life
7. to show that i am still alive
8. so that i will not crazy
9. cos no one is updating theirs
10. life is short, write it out and get over with it, no point having them pent-up in u

from the ten pts above, one can see that blogging is actually an activity one does to satisfy oneself emotionally and mentally. right? not mah?

wats urs?..



i am bored... today got a paper.. FM .. got a v nice neighbour, teach me FM last night like i am her little sis like tat.. v paitent, i really really appreciate it realy.. if not for her.. i wuld not be able to do the paper today.considering that i still think i will flunk the paper again.. i dun want to tabao FM again!!! grr...

tmw got another paper.. marketing.. yikes. got to jia you!

10 reasons i think why u read my blog

1. you c.a.r.e.
2. my blog is the few that actually updates a bit more frequently
3. you like to see me drowning in my sorrows
4. u want to see if i am still alive
5. u know that the world does not just revolve around u alone
6. life is short and u should always look at it in different perspectives
7. u think that a sg 21 ntu nbs kid has no life and this blog is the proof of it
8. u freaking like orange/yellow
9. u think i am pathetic
10.you r v bored

perhaps i should get a poll board or somehing.. then u guys can vote

me : is today really ur last day?
xuemei : yeah
me : so u not coming back anymore?
xuemei : yeah
me : i am going to miss u roomie
xuemei :..ok
me : arent u going to say somehing like 'me will miss u too'
xuemei : no. ...i dun usually say things i am suppose to..

now where u get a roomie like that...
she's chubby and bouncy,
shes got a bad sense of humour (to me)
we love to bother each other
she looks for food - procastinate - when there's hw and reports to do
she luvs to cook and we all lov her food
she have this dun-care attitude which really reflects who she really is most of the time
she also have a 'i-am-amused' look when u try to amuse her unsucessfully
she wonders how i got her into many messes by staying in hall
everyone thinks she is good at pub stuff.. which is sometimes true
she eats her veggies and mine too
i like it when we laugh at the same stupid stuff and go crazy
yeah
thats my roomie~

yes i am not studying
yes tmw i got paper
yes i am entertaining myself
yes my roommate xuemei offically moved back home
yes i got another paper the day after tmw
and yes there are always things in life to look forward to after exams
no. i am not referring to my PA.

SKC 150th & 151st Championship Dog Shows
Public - Admission By Ticket
Hall 4B
07-May-06 to 07-May-06
Start Time: 09:00; End Time : 18:00

Singapore Food Expo 2006
Public
Hall 4
25-May-06 to 29-May-06
Start Time: 11:00; End Time : 22:00

MPH Book Sale
Public - Free admission
Hall 6A
27-May-06 to 28-May-06
Start Time: 09:00; End Time : 21:00

World Book Fair 2006
Level 4, Suntec Singapore
26 May 2006 - 4 June 2006

Sitex 2006
Singapore Expo hall 3 &4
30 Nov- 3 Dec
11am - 9pm
Free Admission

note: get a external hard disk here.

who wants to go?.haha. book a date with me now..
some pics of my roomie~ will miss ya gal~

haha.. perhaps things are not meant to be.
wat i always say : 早知今日，何必当初。- if u noe wat was going to happen today, why did u do it then?lol bad translation, but the fact is, we dun noe wat is going to happen today, we can only guess
we cant be accurate, plus all the human and external factors, its not at all easy to foresee wat a r/s will turn out to be like even 1-2 months down the road. of course i have learn a lot.. ha.. treat it as a learing experience? sounds a bit dumb, hurt ur heart and confuse ur mind in the process, i rather go watch a chessy show or drown myself in the jap drama One liters of Tear. At least u can walk away at the end of the show saying. i am glad that wasnt me, but when ws the last time u secretly hoped that something magical / wonderdful/ romantic happened to u ?.. if only i have chance to experience that u might think..sadly, its back to the harsh realities of life for all of us. Gladly, there are still some matches made in heaven around, ( to think that no matches are made in heaven in the first place)... haiz

*scream*

did u hear that soul struggle?
did u see that sorrow in ur friends' eyes?
did u hear the silence of her scream?

~give a friend a hug today, u never noe she/he might just need it~

went to send joan off to germany just now at terminal one
when i got there.. her eyes were already red puffy, not at all pretty, not at all happy, perhaps she is foreseeing homsickness? tried to stand in her shoes to think.. maybe not..
With all her friends and family around her, she seemed more preoccupied with something else, her own sadness. or wat she said, nervous breakdown. something to do with nervous breakdown
which is a sad sight it would say, however may things look bad, should look at the bright side of life mah joan. look! u are going germany~ soemthing that is so fun and nice. something that most pple wouldnt have, wouldnt it be worth suffering a bit for?. take some, give some.

gave gunni her present too.. felt quite bad.. could have really gave her better craftsman ship. but really glad she liked it. and gunni! u are worth the effort babe~ haha.. (the materials i got was all from my drawer at home. a bit limited..ha..actually i did not expect it to be a sucess. it sort of reminded me of rosie's present. the rush.. the oh no~ no time. exactly like that.hee)

its like women and their sexuality
since when and why is it a taboo for women to be comfortable with it?
why do we have to be the infeior one?

and to be straight i need more gal friends.
that alone sounds funny
at least i noe more than one person who is more comfortable talking to guys than gals.
dun u think so?guys purely see pple around them like fellow men or their men. thats how they rank their friends. in some way or another
for gals. clase friend, not so friend, ok friend, bitchy friend, shopping friend , hi bye friend. so many who is not confused sometimes i am myself. i have two categories
gd friends 95% and not so gd friends 5%
i may not talk to u often . but if i smile at u . u are my good friend
if i only noe u for 2 days, i can tell which category u are in if i am telling u dirty jokes
its hard to get into my not so gd friend category. u must first backstab me. then wat i dunnoe. perhaps the first pt is enough. then where do this 5 % come from? ha.. u backstab me by being the friend of whom backstab me. ha.. thats enough.
dun u think its tiring? i think so..
perhaps thats why pple think i am weird. i can talk and smile and crap with pple whom i dun noe.. thats not gd in someways.

things i want to do NOW:
- get out of hall
- sleep
- do my tut
- buy a mag called 'play times'(anyone seen it sold anywhere?? its not porn..)
- own driving license
- sit in that suv again.. it rocks.
- be more independent
- stop feeling guilty for the breakup
- make more money so i can give my mom and dad an early retirement

(the previous post has been extrememly self-centered, pls excuse it)

today is good friday.. wat should i say.. happy good friday to all!!
i am here. in my hall. lamenating..
too fast too soon, i have got no enough time.. i need more time.
down with a flu too.. blown my nose so much that it peeled. not gone to any doc, cos the docs in ntu - medical center - is pathetic, even the teacher says so. think will be stuck around in boon lay for the next 2 weeks.. mean a bout three weeks in total i think.. how will i survive.. i canot imagine the exams starting. it will be the worse so far, and i desperately want to do well.. and i think its going to be real competitive, cos everyone is \doing great too. how can i be better?.. perhaps instead of looking at that.. i should ask.. how can i do my v best?..

aim for the moon, for at least when u fail, u'll fall among the stars

i am aiming for the moon. somewat unrealistic, i think i will end up in some black hole...

recently felt rather useless, numb actually always been like that. not that i have always been passionate or somehing.. (not talking aabt life) perhaps our ideals and views are v different, too different its temping to challenge, and deadly too to the r.s. but hey.. then u r telling miss yuan to keep mum. thats like.. wat else can she do?.. thinking too mcuh? that may not be a bad idea.. my ideas are usually noT 'appropriate' - politically speaking- why?? WHY CANT I BE CORRECT FOR ONCE?
perhaps there should be some end somewhere.. not happy why carry on? becos u need to? becos u are afraid to? becos there is nothing else to do? i am not angry nor am i sad. numb u see. it goes on and on in my head why is it like this. and no answer can be heard, or am i blocking it out.

happy exams to all.

Actually I dun really think people come here often.. perhaps for a few bored souls who pressed the ‘next’ button on someone’s blog , or a few closer friends/classmate/hall friends.. Exams is nearing.
So I am sure everyone is mugging. I have a cousin, he used to blog frequently, especiall around exam periods, cos that’s when he is the most stress, probably (wat I think) the time when he need to vent out most of his frustrations, cos he always could not get down to studying.
For me it is sort of different.. no.. in fact I think it’s the same. Is it the same for u?

Do u blog? Do u read pple’s blog? Why do u blog? Why do pple blog? Why do u read pple’s blog? Are pple’s lives that interesting? Does the blog really depict the pple in their real lives?

Well.. for a moment. I think if I were to answer these qns, I can write another sociology paper. And if I were really doing a major in sociology, I would have my essay/fyp-

“Blogs, its emergence and its influence.”

How cool would that be?

For many blogs you read, especially those around my age grp, the probably blog like .. once and month, and they usually start saying “ hi pple, its been quite some time since I am here/ bloged/ or.. have really been bz lately.. blah blah” and they will rattle on wat the bad times and bz stuff they all have been preoccupied in. how do I noe?. I was like that b4. I think its might be becos that the blogging craze is over.. well for me it started in jc.1 or 2 .. cant really remember.. then the craze came on a few yr later when xiaxue created some waves. And blogging became an IN thing. That when pple were called bloggers… pple who became famous after their blogs gain attention, not just normal pple like u and me.. well if it interests anyone, yes I do read xiaxue ‘s blog.. cos its bitchy, really. Can really understand why pple like her or hate her, cos she is so likeable and hateable. But I realized one thing.. she is just like anyone of us.. we all are bitch once in a while .. I am amazed how bitchy she is most of the time.. I dun think that can be faked.. or it will be damn tiring, but hey her entries are a good source of relaxation .. cos they are mostly ads now a days..

dear marketing students. U should learn that if u want to locate a segment of 14-45 males and 16-25 females, who spend much time online surfing and reading blogs all day and dun go out to shop. Pple who are idolizers of how to get that perfect self shot on camera, get xiaxue. Splash her with goodies and freebies and she will give u her three cents worth of ur product.ha.. how interesting, talk abt celebrity endorsements

sian..
so why write a blog? Why? I ask myself why.. too often I can find many reasons
- I need an outlet
- I am bored
- I need attention
- I am procrastinating
Ya that’s that..
I got this theory. All pple need attention. Dun we sometimes want someone close to us. Or not close to us to ask us a qns like ‘how is ur day’ u feeling ok?.. or is it just me? Ok whatever.. on my blog, I practically write wat I think.. dun think I can do anything else tat requires more brain power..

but then maybe its just that part of me that hopes that someone out there is taking interest in this insignificant life of urs. You may actually be just concern, or curious or even interested in me. I dun mind. Call it attention seeking if u would.. but I dun think I am that serious, cos I dun really advertise on newspapers to ask pple to visit here do i? its still at ur will. Then u see pple all getting bz with their work, studies and stuff. How the hell do u get pple to show u some attention. But yet u want to speak to someone , need an outlet .. so that’s where the blog comes in.. it gives u an outlet to say somehing.. who cares who is going to read it.. its there.. be happier bah
go off liao.. wat a long entry.

firstly i would like to say i am sorry

sorry gunni .. i forgot abt ur birthday
and sorry to many many others.. those that i have forgotten also..
i dun mind if u forget mine too cos .. i believe i want u guys remember other stuff abt me ..ha.. wat a reason.. but i think that makes up a good reason for not rmembering my bdae.. just remember me can le

but still sorry for not remembering ur bdae..

~to gunni my special friend~
happy belated 21st gal!!

sian..sianz.. SIAN!!
I AM SIAN!!

wat is sian??

Study. i. am. Not.(going to)?
Stop. it.! aint. Nerd!.
Siao!. i. am. Nuts.

lol.. not funny
today last lesson.. or u might say had my last tut of the sem. this is not counting any more makeup tut thats the teachers may want to hold. sian. i dun want to do but..
i dun want to flunk.. i will not flunk. i dun want tooo!!
this sem have been bad.. full of crappng in many tut/ presentations..

at the start of the sem i was full of charge.. trying to make sure things are going the right way. i wanted to be organised.. all my projects and assignments.. in the end i even managed to save a few haha.. btu starting early. and also killed a few with B+ and dunnoe wat grades by starting late.. on the whole.. the last few weeks i was totally slack. spending time often on unnecessary stuff such as nice powerpts. really.. when mean nice. i mean NICE.. at least in my eyes.. i just want to be better

but in the the end .. i realise i was subconsiously procrastination. not i noe it.. think thats consiously le
but hey i must say.. i really like this sem.. got really quite some good friends thru soem grp project.. like wat i always belive- god give u some.god takes aways some.. so u nver can have everythin.. makes u grateful and be not too greedy.. also makes u jealous at times..haha .. but thats how life goes..


well for my 213lesson: product and pricing.. there is a wild and crazy gals gang
sihui and lingwei and nha and joanie and wenya
projects done: eagle crest and la hacinda
grades achieved!: 2 As.. haha well done.. but that not impt
really glad to noe this bunch of gals.. can really get down to doing serious workk at times and crunch some real numbers!!. women (ling wei and sihui) with calculators are sexy.. so u should see them man.. haha.. i am the one witht the ppt.hhe
well there is the always
- the tall slendered figured green one: sihui- pretty, powerful, and sweet smiling from ear-ear one: lingwei- small/kawaii!! skirt swaying and mulit-tasking, independent woman to be :wenya- viet cheeky intelligent, milk tea drinking, magic casting "pho tu" (witch in viet": nha
- attractive,polite, sexy voice and figured: joanie

then there is 214 : intergrated marcom:
mel and vic and janice and joanie and me again
Mel: fashionable heavy weight?..hee
Vic: Swift and gd with disappearing acts
Janice: the yr three that seems to mix with us so well and look like a sec sch kid when she dresses down

215:kang yu|eddie|carmen|nha|joanie|me
haha.. the bunch tat talks in class come in late.. eat|sleep like no one's business..haha
kangyu: eyes so small pple dun noe he is dozing off in class. and goes to class to Zzz
eddy: so clever that he can beat any lousy teacher around (and there are plenty)
carmen: viet gal with long flooowing hair, excites at ktv, v clever tooha.. quick thinking
nha. one word: hardworking
zihui: always disturbing the rest haha..

then there is the sad class : FM:
i dunnoe anyone
i skip too many of those classes for the teacher can remeber me..
i hate that lesson.. i go there and sit ALONE in a class of 50 pple .. how ironic

thats all
love everyone.. just so happy that we have a great time toghether.. however hard may each sem/project maybe .. friend nver fail to brighten up my day!and i utterly enjoyed all ur company v much ..ha.. luv ya guys

all the best in exams!! *hugs and muaks*

Exams are just aroound the corner.. really.. in fact i think its nearer than that.. perhaps an arm's length away.. i can almost touch it.. that is if i want to.. but i dun think i like the idea of that..

here are my exam dates.. so after tat.. jio me out!!

18/4 - marketing channels
20/4 - financial accounting
21/4 - product and pricing
24/4 - intergrated marketing communications
26/4 - soc: the changing family
28/4 - accounting ii

yes.. that is 6 subjects in 11 days..

meaning that after my last presentation tmw, and one more tut on friday
it would be freedom to study and then doom to exams.. muahaha..
13 days left.. why do i start to coutndown on this unlucky no?.. ha.. maybe i can remember easily bah.. 11 days!!! arhh.. its going to be hell.. expect a zombie to post soon.

to all my friends.. jia you~
and then there is PA: 8/5-15/7
ha.. means i can only have 9 days of break.. how wonderful. and then u minus one complete day of sleeping after exams and one day of moving out of hostel to home.. that mean 7 days.lol.. one week. bleah.. nvr the less.. lets see wat we can look out for:

- 3302 gals outing. of course
- eagle crest gals outing too
- ( good year )kang yu's long awaited ktv session
- stalkers outing anyone.. celebrate u guys become seniors and late bdaes and new og!

wat i have in mind:
- buffets:(sakura international.heard its ok and cheap $20)(Kublai Khan International and Mongolian Buffet. $25 nett..hee) wat else?.. suggest!!
- shopping.. i NEED CLOTHES FOR PA!!
- MOVIES
- non- monetary entertainment ideas eg: cycling.fishing.picnicing.vcd watching. slumber party.

( this is beginning to look like my ppt, bullets and pt forms and all ...-_-||)

- http://www.univantage.com.sg/home.html " where SMU/NTU/NUS students get to enjoy special benefits and privileges simply by flashing their matriculation card at the participating retail outlets. "..lol a bit few stuff there.. but lets just kiv that


so lets just see bah JIA YOU TO ALL! :D

b4 i start... lets look at this:

http://www.trexi.com.sg/
(real cool to think it originate in sg.. noe its a collector's item..must be ex...

like any other gals. i like small cute stuff.. well including diamonds.ha.. small.. but not exactyl cute.. chance upon a zo card which i picked up at src. its regarding The launch of Trexi exhibit series 2.. i got so excitied that i went to do some research on it.. a bit.. then i realise i was attracted to its creative designs.. sound so sua ku. ha..how to say.. dunnoe how to say..let the pics speack for themselves..


the white king kong..

ha then there is the green one..